Fuzzy Wazzy Was A Bear.

Or is a bear depending. For me, was, is the correct word usage.

I have been in my apt for a week now & it is the first time I have lived somewhere without a fuzzy (an animal for those of you who have not spent much time around me) & I dislike it more then I can tell you. I never realized how much they helped me or how much I loved them I suppose. Perhaps I depended on them too much? But I don't think so. 

I love coming home to something waiting for me there without having to worry about where I stand with it. They love me & want me there no matter what. It bothers me that I feel I have to walk on egg shells around everything in my life right now. I need a stable loving relationship & that's what my fuzzies were for me. They would miss me if I was gone, they would love me when I came home, & they would always wait for me. (That makes it sound like I have a god complex or a controlling complex or something.) 

I just miss always having something stable there. Everything else is always fluxuating & I never know where I stand in relationship but I always knew I could come home to something stable. I had something somewhere loving me no matter what. If they ran off it wasn't because I treated them wrongly but because I did not keep them safe enough to not run away. Somehow they would find their way back though. It's a blind pure love that you can only seem to get from pets. 

I just want something to come home to that I don't have to fight with, that will always keep me company, that will love me no matter what I do, & still have a personality of it's own. I like my animals. They help me more then I can tell anyone. 

Maybe I am just desparet for something & I'm feeling it with that. But I don't like coming home to something empty, where I feel alone. I like company. I like being near living things.

I just want my fuzzies back. 

~Cyran J. Harrington.~