Overdog For the Underdog

The Overdog Helping the Underdog

1. “Because baby I was born this way!” Gaga’s Voice Gives Hope

Long before the musical notes of Born This Way hit the stereos across the world, Lady Gaga already cultivated a massive rapport with the LGBT community. This was due to her previous music videos where she would subtlety place herself kissing, or provocatively dancing with, women and men alike to express her standing on the every rising issue of Equality along with her own sexuality to the world. She openly spoke about these topics in interviews and other places as her fame grew to one of the subcultures I call home.

To my knowledge this is one of the first ragingly popular songs of my generation that has openly said “It’s okay to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgendered. It’s safe to be you.” Hitting the market just as the issue of Equality was at its peak Born This Way gave young, and old, LGBT individual’s incredible new strength to fight for our rights.

To me this video emerged at the moment I felt my lowest while coming out as transgender after so many years of my mother telling me it was just the “anime” talking. 13 years old until 20 years old is quite a long time to be going through a “phase.” Then my best fined of the time exclaimed “You aren’t a man because you still wear girly clothing and do girly things!” I was unaware that men who identified as women were not allowed to wear male clothing anymore to prove themself female. These are the times I remember when I let Gaga’s powerful speech run over the movie reel of my mind, “I’m beautiful in my way, ‘cause god makes no mistakes. I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way. Don’t hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and your set. I’m on the right track baby I was born this way yeah.” (Gaga) 

2. Same Love – Words of a Hero

             Macklemore made his claim to fame with the trend-y pop song Thrift Shop. Its light hearted, and upbeat tunes rooting for the poor to show off their thrift shop flair while everyone else wastes their money. His most recent top of the charts hit, ft. Mary Lambert, Same Love is yet another large push for the Equality of LGBT persons.

            “When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay, 'cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.” Macklemore opens reminiscing in his child hood leading into how messed up these stereotypes are in a world that is so diverse. His words are soul filled with examples of who, and how, they make people feel this way for no other reason then “Man-made rewiring of a predisposition.” (Macklemore)

            Where Gaga’s song ceases Macklemore blossoms in the difference that it is less about one’s self perceived notice and more on how we should be fighting against others self-perceived notion of us.  Though we must start with ourselves and branch out to the larger picture from there it is nice to see this duality in the pop culture everyone seems to emerge their life in today.

            “When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart

A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are.” (Macklemore.) These lyrics I think are the most profound. This is our future, these kids that are taking their own life because “We paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago” (Macklemore) rather than love one another.

3. Dear Straight People – A Poem on How I want to Rob You

Dear Straight People is a poem I discovered not long ago through a spoken word class I attended. It was an example on how one can control their character to exaggerate on their piece. How it is controlled to be outrageously perfect for what you are trying to present to the people listening, watching. Though I took in what the person lecturing was saying about this slam poem I also felt this spoken word move a part of me in a personal way.

“Dear Queer Young Girl, I see you. You don’t want them to see you so you change the pronouns in your love poems to “him” instead of “her.” I used to do that.”  (Dear Straight People lines 60- 64) Frohman summarizes this part of my past particularly well as I spoke up for the ones in high school that couldn’t speak for themselves due to the fear of rejection or wrath of others.

My girlfriend is 26 and her parents are still eager for her to find a man to marry for children someday. It does not matter how well I treat her, what I stand for, weather I am alive or dead, just that I am not a true man. Her parents say that they love me, and adore me because I have worked so hard to get to where I am. That they are proud of me for going back to school, but if I were to ask her father for her hand in marriage I would not be welcomed to it. It is just recently that they stopped throwing this “defect” in her face to try and change her ways.

An ex-girlfriend of mine had to hide that we were lovers for the short time that we were due to them being overly conservative. Though she was bisexual she had learned from her sisters “mistakes.” Her beloved sister dated the same sex, even the same women, for five or so years. The whole time getting no support from the people she proclaimed as home. Eventually this led her to repent of her sins. She is still single, but at least she has her family.

“Dear straight people, you make me want to fuckin’ rob you,” (Dear Straight People Line 38-39) of your rights as you have robbed us of ours for generations. Rob you of the innocent souls that you have forced to feel abandoned due to beating and bullying from people that cannot accept the beauty of difference.   

4. No H8 for John Bowarrman – Leading by Example

           The simple, yet powerful, photo above is of John Barrowman, an openly LGBT actor that has gained his fame from the fandom of the longest running Syfy show (Doctor Who) as the character of Captain Jack Harkness. Harkness is openly pansexual in this reverting show and it is the trait that has made him most popular as a character, as he finds beauty in everything; John is much the same way. His husband, Scott, and he have been together for some time and he fights for Equality day in and day out.

Showing support for the NO H8 champion is something small that Barrowman has done as yet another figure head of the LGBT subculture and it shows that such a little act can go such a long way. He continues to inspire like minds and brings hope to hearts that may have lost it. No matter how hard times have gotten for him he has come out (no pun intended) on top.

While in the mists of coming out as transgender FTM (Female to male) I discovered Barrowman’s character and it reminded me that I may be down right now but there are people speaking up for e somewhere as I did when I was younger for others. The people that were meant to stay will, and others weren’t really worth it. Use the experience that one has to help them, not hinder. There are still people out there hating on others to the point where their future is in vain. The underdog needs people like us to say that it is okay, that there is a tomorrow, that hope is here, and that if you don’t have a voice we will loan you ours. 

The Captain Is In

I have been thinking on this for a while now & it's come to my attention that blogging about it might clear some thing up for you & me.

People that are close to me know that I'm not a fan of my own country because of the way we come off to the rest of the world. It bothers me at a deeper personal level to know that there are COUNTRIES out there that hate me (or extremely dislike me) just because I am from (or am) America. So when the people that were close to me found out that I love Captain America, & plan on dressing up as him as a cosplay, were quite confused. 

The comment "I don't understand why you love Captain America so much when you complain about America so much." 

I would usually just respond with, "Because I love him & Stark together." with a laugh, but always knew there was something more to it. I did LOVE the character it self apart from my sick, wild fangirl dreams. 

I have figured it out. 

I love Captain America because he stands for everything that America was supposed to stand for. He helps the people in need, & even the bigger man if they become the little man because he knows what it's like to be the little man. He was chosen to be a "super solider" because he was compassionate. Which is something I don't see a lot of Americans be now-a-days. 

When I was younger I was taught basic manors. Say please & thank you, be polite, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all, look people in the eyes when they talk to you, respond to people that are talking to you, hold the door open for people coming in after you, don't be a soar loser, be nice/kind to others, don't take more then you need, chew with your mouth closed, elbows off the table, & no slurping. These are all BASIC things that everyone should have been taught when young, in my opinion, but in todays world they are lost in the selfishness of out society. It's rather sicking to be honest. 

It's like pulling teeth to get a please & thank you out of a kid where I work because their parents are too busy working to actually raise their children or too busy letting them play video games out of their age range or surfing the internet freely. Parents are also too busy making their child their friend then being a parent. Parents are also too busy asking their child "what do you want?" then saying "No you don't need that." 

I understand that in the American world today that it is becoming harder & harder to maintain a satisfying life style for your child & you because of economic reasons & so on, but that is the challenges of today. Just because you have to work more though doesn't mean you can get lazy raising you children. It isn't the consolers in your after school programs job to teach your kid manors, nor is it their teachers, friends, nanny T.V., computer, culture, etc. It is yours. Take responsibility for it.

I think another reason I love Captain America is because he's not some rich man who can put together a fancy outfit & save people. He has nothing to do with money. He is genuinely looking to get somewhere by his own accord & happen stance takes him to play the role he had always wanted to. Yet another thing America is about it opportunities. His story is more real & down to my level then most super hero stories. His story could have been in my own home, there is still the chance. I may not become a super soldier but if I am in the right place at the right time I may run into someone like he did who can get me somewhere with my photography, that I want to be. To be in the right place at the with much hard work & dedication that is. No dreams comes without those things. 

All in all, the Captain, to my knowledge, isn't meant to be a ego-boost for American's heads to get bigger on, but something for the Americans to look at & remember the origins that this country is biased off of. Just like boys & girls like to have role models, so do a country of lost people. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Love

Love.

It's just a 4 letter word but it's one that effects everyones life in such a large way that you don't really realize. Love is something everyone looks for subconsuously, love is something most people feel on a daily basis. Love seems to be the root of a lot of good, & evil. People have died for this word, been hurt for this word, have been diseved by this word...but people have also healed for this word, given back for this world, have saved for this word, & have been inspired by this word.

Who knew four letters could be such a complicated thing. Who knew that one small word could make everything better or worse. 

L-O-V-E

I'm still trying to figure out what it means to me. I thought I knew at one point. I thought I had it figured out...but then I watched others use it & now I wonder if I will ever truly know what it means to me. 

I used to love everything & everyone. I was angry at things but I never NOT loved them. When I was younger I used to believe that if I loved things I would be loved in return. I found out later that my childish thoughts were why I am hurt so bad now. That just because you love something never means that it will love you back because everything has a form of free will & nothing HAS to love you. Nothing HAS to give a damn about you at all. 

That's how I got hurt. That's how I became jaded by the smallest biggest four letter word out there. 

Love. 

So now...now I sit back & reevaluate it all, everything I have loved, everything I put myself into & I can't help but to wonder why I was so blindly stupid to believe a simple four letter word could make the world so much better if not everyone is using it like I think it should be used. Is there truly a right or wrong way to use it? I think there is...but I'm just one in many. Very small, just like this word. 

How do you figure it all out? Do you do what you think is right? Do you follow the people you have seen? Should I change my actions to get a different result even if it means hurting someone else in the process because of this damned word? Does that make me better or worse? Does that make me right or wrong?

Do I even matter out of many?

This four letter word seems so vast & every time I hear it I question it more & more but when I was younger I never would have. I would have known people have meant it to be a good thing, or maybe I just never noticed it to be a bad thing before because I was taught to see it as something wonderful by movies, or culture. When it comes in to play now, though, I stop & have to wonder why it hurts so much. How could something so beautiful hurt so very much. How could something that is meant to save, kill so many? 

All in all I don't think I will ever know, but I have learned that something ignorance is bliss & I miss the days where I could love without questioning it. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Relating

"I'm a lot better before you really know me." 

This quote goes with the photo above.

If you didn't something I enjoy quite a bit is Postsecret. Postsecret is a place where people can send in their deepest darkest secrets anonymously to one man & get a chance to see them at www.postsecret.com, if you don't see them there then you may see them in a later book that is published. If not, then you at least know your secret has gotten out there to someone with more secrets then you will ever know. 

The young lady in the secret here was in a Postsecret video that they did asking for secrets on Life, Death & God. Her secret is post under the photo. 

Needless to say I would have to say the same thing about myself. Not just because I want to be an emo bucket & steal a bit of attention, because every time someone gets to know me to an extent they seem to leave my side. I used to get a lot of attention because of my looks & my flirtatious personality it seems to have gotten me into a lot of trouble now-a-days. A lot more pain then anything. 

I'm not that smart. I'm average in smartness & it's something I hate admitting a lot of the time but it's something I know that is true about myself. I'm not book smart what so ever. I just don't take in information like most do. I struggled through school because of it. I struggle to this day with it & it kills my self esteem when i do think about it. A little, but still.

If you attack my looks then I am most likely going to shrug you off, but when it comes to my brain...I am liable to throw a punch. It's a sensitive subject to me, something I'm not sure I will ever cope with because it's a big thing that sets me & my friends apart from each other. 

Over all, I feel like it's because of this that people just lose interest in me. Because I'm not all I'm cracked up to be. I can kick a ball really far, make dirty jokes to get you interested, take a wonderful photograph, but that's about it. 

The only smart I am is street smart but a world like we have today that doesn't count for much unless you are on the streets. I'm not really sure how to change this. Books frustrate the hell out of me & I just don't have the time or energy to sit down & read for hours on end like others do which just frustrates me more. Yes, reading takes a lot of energy to me. It's not something that just comes to me like others. It's not something I REALLY enjoy like others. But anymore that's the only way to keep up with others. 

That or T.V. which I hate more then most things in the world. It's a time suck & a soul suck.

Over all I just wanted to rant I think about why I feel this way & share with the world this young lady in hopes that more can relate to her like I have & maybe share their stories to help themselves to get to a better mental place with it. I'm still trying to be more then a surface & I think I am but it seems what I think & what the world think are two different things.  

"Places everyone, this is a test
Throw your stones, do your damage
All the world is a judge
But that doesn't compare
To what I do to myself when you're not there
And if I had a dollar for every time
I repented the sin
And commit the same crime
I'd be sitting on top of the world"

I'm getting into this dip where I really want to post about things that are important to me. Things that I want to truly talk about. Things that matter quite a bit in my life or just to get personal things off my chest not just to talk about all the good things that are coming up in my life because that's not all that life is about & in order for me to change I need to work them out in my head, which is where this blog comes in. 

Expect more of me.

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Those Damn Dirty Cylons

I know, one of the most annoying songs of ever & I have posted it on the top of one of my blog entries after not blogging for so long. This just happens to be the song that I woke up to at 3 in the morning after playing a game of Battle Star Galactic with loved ones. Not really sure what that says about me right now but it can only be good things, yes? Haha.

Yet again, alot has happened since I last posted. Moving is the biggest one. We are mostly settled physically in out new home, but mentally is still a bit of a challenge & getting ready for those three flights of stairs is never fun. Not that I can't do them easily but to get a work out in going to your own home can be a pain in the ass sometimes after a long days work. Thankfully I get a bit of a break right now after two or three months of working 40+hours a week. The checks are nice but the tiredness of it all isn't. I plan on enjoying my break & getting back on my feet in photography again as I have fallen crazy behind in that, sadly.

That's not what I'm here to talk about though. 

Needless to say after the truth came out about my ex-roommate to me I have been in a bit of angered fueled depression. It's made me really think about how the world really is & has changed my whole out look in humanity. After Girlfriend & I's house warming party today it's helped me refine it all a bit more to where I think it's sound~ish to talk about. 

After A-Kon I've stopped trusting pretty much anyone. I don't really talk to a lot of people besides girlfriend & I've been much more a hermit then anything else excepts for the occasional outing here of there but the social butterfly is on minimum requirement right now. Still not sure when that will change. 

If you have kept up with my postings you know that in The Good, The Bad, & The In-between I talked about what my ex-roommate did to me. If you haven't read it then you should read that before you read this one, other wise none of this will make much sense. Needless to say, after realizing what she had done my view on many things...changed. I'm not fond of people anymore, & I'm not much one for going out of my way to find new people to be around unless I HAVE TOO. Which is very odd for me. Usually I'm the first one to make a friend & the one that shows them around & shit. Nope, not anymore. I'm vary wary of people, which is against my Pisces nature & I haven't really gotten to talk to anyone about it because I don't feel I have a right to. Because of things that have happened in my past I don't talk about my problems with people anymore due to being told that people were "tired of hearing about them" or out right not talking to me anymore, or just telling me to shut up. People don't want to hear about your problems over all because they are too busy caring about their own problems I guess. That is another topic for another blog. 

Back to my jaded view of humanity.

I tend to give way more then I should to people, I don't mean physically, but mentally. I know many people don't know it because the mental things aren't physical & actions speak louder then words but...I do. I give way more chances then I ever should & I give most people a part of me that I don't intend on getting back from them when they leave, if they leave. It's just how I have always invested myself into other people. I think I have been hurt enough now to finally understand not to do that though which is upsetting in it's self. In order for me to stop doing something I have always done that means I have finally been hurt bad enough (or enough times by it) to change my actions. That also means I have been hurt badly enough, enough times, that I am reevaluating my actions. 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again expecting different results. 

I'm still over all very angry about what happened, very hurt, & very confused. I'm still lost as to how someone could betray someone's trust like that. How they can lie to someone's face & then stab them in the back. I don't think I will ever understand it. I just won't. I can become more aware of it & less trusting of others because of it. 

Due to this happening though I feel like it's taking away one of my best qualities. My giving nature & my willingness to love no matter what. I even feel my loyalty slipping a bit but that is part of my trust issue at the moment. I just don't see a point in giving so much of myself when people aren't willing to see it & appreciate it for what it is. I just...don't. It's not something I can continue doing to myself. Which bothers me because I find it one of my best qualities. I show it through the text that I send out in the morning, or when I make an event & invite you to it, when I talk to you at all in any time of day. If I'm giving you the time of day, then I'm giving you a part of me. I'm still coping with it & figuring it all out to an extent.

I hate that I'm doing it but it's for my own sanity, to get back on my feet. My mental feet anyhow. I feel like I'm betraying myself a bit by doing this too. Going from the warm, loving, over caring nature of the Pisces to the more logical clod~ish side of the Aquarius.

I'm still taking this new change in mental state in as well. I'm looking at it wondering if I'm being over dramatic about it, or if I'm finally doing the right thing to make me more okay for the world when the world doesn't seem to care about making it's self okay for..anyone? I'm not quite sure if that's right but that's the feeling I get from it. 

Over all, these are the things that wake me up in the middle of the night to think about & blog about before I can go back to sleep. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

One year, Oh It's Been One Year

Yesterday was Girlfriend's & I one year. I'm still trying to get my head around it. 

It's been one full year since we started going out again. Not since she came back into my life but since we decided to do this crazy relationship thing that we seem to care about so much. We have are ups & downs but in the end we have seemed to come out pretty alright by it so far. There's is still alot more room to grow, as always, but we will get there with time I hope. If we don't then that will be that. The road takes us to strange places after all & it's winding so you never know what is around the corner. 

For our one year we did a little celebrating, but not to the full extent that we want to. Girlfriend's school keep her from really going out on week days & yesterday she was only running on 3 or 4 hours of sleep so we had to cute it short. We went out to Super H Mart in Carrollton to do some WithPhotos. They had two new booths we had heard about & wanted to go see & the other one was just for the cute of it all. It was a way to remember. The old booths are now anywhere from 8-9 dollars & the two new one's are 10. The new one we tried was crazy fun. It has three different cameras in it & you had to figure out which one was about to shot next. We went a little crazy in here but what was supposed to happen. What other point was there to go? Haha! 

After the photo fun we went to Stake & Shake out in Lewisville for the classiest of dinners. Girlfriend got all excited because there was a shake on the menu she could actually get due to her chocolate allergy, which was really exciting! Then, half way through it, she started tasting that bitter sweet flavor. Apparently the person who made it didn't think someone could have a chocolate allergy & accidently put a Butterfinger in it first to blend up then the Nutter butter thinking nothing of it & just kept going. 

The waiter looked rather terrified when she told him why it wasn't a good & promptly took it off the check. We weren't upset, but it was still funny. Thankfully Girlfriend didn't have enough of the chocolate to make her sick, or if she did the tiredness took it from her. While we were leaving the place fireworks were going of to one side of us so we popped a squat & watched together. As if they were setting them off for us & not the holiday that is today. It was nice, cute, classic, sappy. All the things that one year aniverseries are suppose to be. 

I think the reality of it is still sinking in me. I'm just not used to this stability thing of having one consent person in a relationship with me for quite that long. It's kinda scary really. I feel all domesticated & shit. The D word send a shiver up my spine....now to figure out a balance of being 21 & wanting to be wild while being in a relationship.

Speaking of balancing...that's all I seem to be doing lately is finding some balances in my life & making everything more stable. It's...kinda working so far? It's hard to really tell yet because things are still so crazy with change. I've been doing more things to relax as of late because i was getting myself too high strung over my own thoughts. That seems to be working pretty well, since I have taken an hour a day to myself to just do what every I want. Right now I am reading Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K Hamilton. It's something I have seen people around me read for years now & thought it would be to hard of a read since it was an "adult" book. When I picked it up off Girlfriend's shelf though it actually wasn't that hard after all. I'm almost through it within a week, I'm past the halfway mark at least. I really enjoy the writing style & the way she keeps to interested in what will happen next. I don't really like that each scene seems to drag so long but the characters are well rounded enough that I'm willing to keep going. It is hard to keep up with EVERY character even if they are mentioned a lot. I'm still looking forward to it though.

I'm hoping to get through the first 4 books of the series before we move.

Yes, we are moving in the middle of July in it's god awful heat. It's already been 100+ before July hit. I am not looking forward to actually lugging things around. On top of that we are moving to the third floor (the last time we checked) which I can't stand, but it's a compromise I'm willing to make for the extra room in the new place. I am looking forward for Girlfriend's parents to actually know I am staying with her now. She has already talked to them about it & even though they aren't thrilled with it all, they are taking it rather well. This way neither of use have to freak out when they come over & I have to hide or what not or she doesn't have to dodge a bullet every time they want to come here. It will just be... easier in general. This means I have to start paying rent & what not which is fine by me but that means less savings. I'm trying to remind myself that I have a good enough base to start with that the rest is just adding on. Then that annoying voice in the back of my head reminds me that it's not just for emergency but for my photography as well. 

I always figure something out, I normally do anyways. 

I will say that I am excited about having more space in the new apt for less money. It has two patios, a MUCH larger & better put together closet, & the kitchen is bigger & better as well. We lose the geradge but that doesn't bother me at all. We'll get some sun visors & that will take care of that mostly. I have also talked Girlfriend into looking to get some new furnishing. The stuff she has right now isn't doing a good job at what it is there for & it needs to be replaced. When she gets done with this mod we plan on going to Ikea (it's a guilty pleasure of mine) to look through to find what we need along with pricing. I'm rather excited honestly. I like buying things for a living space to decorate it with. 

The other thing Girlfriend is doing, while we pack she is going through EVERYTHING she owns (again -dances happily-) to get rid of what she just doesn't want anymore. She's finally getting tired of having so much stuff as, I think, everyone else is. There's just not room for it all which means we are most likely going to start putting stuff up for sale here, craigslist, or eBay. Right now we have a few things on Craigslist:

Extra Color Prints of Mine

Extra Black & White Photos of Mine

Girlfriend's Old Camera Bag

By the end of today I may have one thing up on eBay & maybe a few more up on Craigslist. We will see. If you are interested in any of these items you can always contact me at my e-mail, cyranjharrington@yahoo.com, or leave a comment on this blog entry.

I always feel like I never post everything that I want to on each blog post but soon I will get around to posting a bit more emotional happenings when I have them all sorted out. Seeing how this is a public blog posting raw emotions for the world to see just doesn't seem safe. Once I figure them all out I will really get around to the nitty gritty of it all, because there is a lot of emotion I need to let out for the world to see. A lot of philosophical thoughts that I want to share. It's just finding the time that I'm not avoiding them to actually type them here. 

The last & final thing I have to say before I go is...HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! :) May your evening be filled with pretty boom booms & satiety! But mostly boom booms. :3 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

The Good, The Bad, & The In-between.

Since you heard from me last I have been up on stage at The Open Stage, gone to A-Kon handing out about 200+ business cards, gone to a new Egyptian based circle that I plan on attending again in the future, have began cooking more at home to eat out less, on my 4th week of summer camp, & have learned so much more about the world then I can begin to explain. 

Getting up on Open Stage was quite a whim but, as you all know, I have been wanting to do that for quite a while now. There was a small audience due to other happenings in the area so I took my chance when I could. It. Felt. Great. The best part is that I want to do it again but with something much more light hearted. I originally wanted to read off the poem I had written not to long ago I Have Died but I'm not too comfortable  getting up in front of people & reading something I haven't memorized due to my Dyslexia. I would rather not make an ass out of myself my first time on stage at a place I would like to be respected for who & what I am. So I went up & talked about something that was much closer to my heart. The good times & how we need to remember them more then the bad because they will get you through no matter what. Because the reason I am a photographer is because of the good times. Because of this one photo that I always remember seeing that has been burned into my mind now of a photograph of my mother & I at our first house front yard smiling like nothing else matter. It's the best memory I have sometimes. Of my mother & I. seeing how we don't exactly get along now. 

I guess you could say it's my personal creation story to my business, if that makes sense.

When I go up on stage next I think I am going to get everyone to do a summer camp song. Should be fun!

A-Kon...every year I saw after the passing weekend that it takes place I say that next year that "I'm not going next year!" but when time comes...there I am. Standing there wondering what the fuck is wrong with me to keep me coming back. This year it was all business though. 

I handed out 200+ business cards this convention to everyone that I took a photo of in Cosplay & since A-Kon my business' Facebook page has 17 more so likes then it did before & it's still counting! I'm I have a bit of the photos I have edited up from A-kon but I'm no where near done with them all. I actually have about 200+ photos to still edit after three different files dumps. We will see what happens when I get them all done. I am hoping to have 100+ likes by the end of it & have a big client base in the Cosplay world. The other exciting thing about A-kon was that I was on press staff! One of the people that volunteered got sick & wasn't able to make it, so I was given the spot. The lighting arrangement in the Sheraton was a challenge with no other light source, I know I did my best with what I had though & I will get the best results that I can out of them. Next year will be better for sure in that area!

I will be doing the same thing at A-fest with my business cards as well! Anytime I take someone's photo I hand them a card. Then more people will come to me for their photo needs! It would be even more amazing to be invited to a con as a photographer. That is a long ways off though. 

The last day of Kon however, was not so pleasant. 

Saturday night Girlfriend & I were getting ready to go to the rave when I received a text from a mutual friend of my ex-roommate & I saying that she needed to talk to me ASAP, she had something on her chest she needed to get off about ex-roommate that impacted Girlfriend & I in a big way. Girlfriend finished getting ready after we both kinda rolled our eyes at it thinking that it was the ex-roommate pulling shit again & strutted our way down to meet Mutual friend. 

Needless to say, when we got there, it wasn't the ex-roommate pulling crap. Mutual friend told us that she had stolen 300+ dollars from the dealers & that she had been barging about the things that she had stolen from me along with purposefully over charging me on rent because "I don't like her." Needless to say I was not okay. I CAN NOT wrap my mind around that. Doing something like that to someone because you simply "don't like them"... You know what? I don't fucking like you either but I would never over charge you on things that you couldn't afford to begin with. I would never go into your personal space & take things that didn't belong to me because I wanted to "get back at you" or what every. The only reason I can that that she doesn't like me is because I didn't do exactly what she wanted me to at one point & pushed away from her. I had other things in my life besides her & she didn't fucking like that. 

Needless to say I am still fairly angry & upset by this because I just don't understand it. I don't understand the though process, or the actions of it. I don't understand how you can live with yourself knowing what you can you have that isn't fair, or right to others. 

We tried to make something happen that night to get her booted out, but we had to wait until the next morning. By the end of it all, from what I know, she is now black listed from A-kon AND Ikki-con. We are also going to take actions at AnimeFest when we go this year to make sure this doesn't happen again. 

After all of this though I will say that I have gotten a much large back bone. I don't put up with much of anything unless I HAVE TO for some reason. I've even stopped putting up with things from Girlfriend. 

Sunday was also the day that Girlfriend's ex decided to cause whatever drama she wanted. It has finally gotten Girlfriend to agree not to talk to her at all anymore which makes me more then beyond happy, but that's another story for another day. 

The summer camp job is going over swimmingly! I love being with the kids & having such a strong influence on their life. I love walking into the buildings in the morning & have 5-10 different kids run up to me screaming my name while telling me how much they missed me. Even the camp songs are pretty awesome! It's all a joy, though the main boss is still a pain (the one above my site director.) but I only have to deal with her once in a while, so it's not so bad.

My most recent holiday was Midsummer in which Bitfrost is celebrating today, but last night I went to a circle that I had been trying to go to for MONTHS now & it finally all lined up. I loved it. I made some new friends & it was Egyptian based. They also do full moon circles with I am excited to attend in the next months. Today I am actually acting as High Priest of Bitfrost & calling down the sun energy then giving it to the circle. One BIG step for me. Here's to having the faith that I don't fuck it up. 

Over all I am well~ish..I am taking some me time out of life to get some of my personal internal issues settled after A-kon's drama. (You can never get away from it free.) I may post up a story or too soon once I get a clear vision of what I want in my head. It will be a Kradonous story because his thoughts just don't sound good written like a journal. 

Hats to you until then.

~Cyran J. Harrington~