Multiplicity Challenge

So I'm not sure how many of you actually know this about me but this is the reason my blog in mane what it is. Have fun. 

1. How do you communicate? (Do you ever hear each other’s voices? Do you ever talk to/with each other out loud? Do you ever leave notes for one another? Do you ever communicate without words (using images/feelings/colors/etc.)?) 

We actually do a bit of all of this to be honest, & it depends on the situation. Alot of the time now-a-days it’s by words that I hear them say. 

2. How do you find new members? (Do you find other members mostly through journaling? Or can you see and hear them?)

For the most part if just hear them, or feel them. Then their name just kind of pops comes to me.

3. How do you choose who wears what? Do you argue over clothing styles?

Oh god, all the time. The girls always have something to complain about (Mostly Emma @.@) & seeing how Kradonous wears Egyptian robe type things he finds them quite constricting. 

 4. How are decisions made in the front (consensus/majority rules/one person makes them/other)? 

It always has been, & always will be, whatever is best for the host. (Me, Cyran/Yuki) Because I am out the most so I will have to deal with the repercussions.

 5. Is knowledge shared equally or do some people have access to things that other people don’t? 

To the main on’s that front knowledge is shared but to those who aren’t out as much usually don’t know as much. It really depends. 

6. Can you remember things that other people in your group do? Are you aware of what happens in the front when you’re not there?

Yes, I don’t like not knowing what is going on with MY body so I know everything that is going on at all times (even if I trust them whole haretedly. ) it’s just not something I am comfortable with. 

 7. Do you remember dreams? Are they your own? Do you share each other’s dreams? 

I think there was one time that Krade, or Kradonous went to sleep in the body & I saw their dream but it doesn’t happen often, or at all really. They do tend to share my dreams though. 

 8. Do you all take responsibility when you wrong somebody as a group effort, more collective apology or do you expect the person who did the wrong to fess up? 

Do you mean to each other or to the outsiders? 

Either way, we all take responsibility for our own actions. 

9. Is there one in your group that stays in the body for more time than the rest? (How often do your primary front-runners change? How often do frontiers switch out? Is fronting a skill that has to be taught?)

The host stays out the most as it’s the host’s life & they are the main fronter. The rest come out at night (as that’s when the host is doing the least.) When they are asked for by someone, or if they want to enjoy something briefly (A cig, a song, or a movie maybe.) If the host can’t handle something they will come out too but that doesn’t happen as often as it used to. For the most part they just give advice if needed or asked for. Or witty comments. Depending on what is wanted/needed at the time. 

10. How do you parcel out time during waking hours between work, school, hobbies, and social commitments? Is it left up to whoever is in the front or do you plan it out? How do you balance money/space usage?

Space in a living space? The money that we make is all Cyran/Yuki’s so he decided how everyone uses it but he uses it mostly for what he needs/wants. We don’t plan anything in advance. It just happens when wanted needed. But host take first priority, & makes all the calls unless they are unable to do that at the time. 

11. Are there noticeable differences with who fronts? How can an outsider recognize a switch? How would I know whom in your group I’m speaking to? Do you announce yourselves? What’s the most polite way to ask who I’m talking to? What if I want to talk to (name) but (name) is out?

Yes, there is. For Kradonous it’s his accent or the way he speaks, he also is a king so his speech is MUCH different then anyone else. Krade has a deeper voice & (as of right now) is blind so he typically has his eyes closed, he also tends to be really cras but has a HUGE heart. For Emma, the voice goes up to a much more girly tone, she is super rude, holds nothing back & if she doesn’t like you god forbid because she won’t hold back. For Carolina (We call her Cali) she holds herself very up right, the voice go very soft & she is more of a mother then anyone will ever be. Those are the easiest to notice & the one’s that come out when in an emergency anymore. The rest you just kinda learn as you go.

If you want to talk to someone then just ask whoever is out to find them, or call for them if they aren’t their. If, for some reason, they can’t get to you we will pass a message to them & as soon as they can get to you they will. 

12. Ever have someone stuck at the front? What makes you get stuck here or home?

This happened a long time ago but it’s not longer an issue so I don’t have a good answer.

13. How do people compensate for not having their bodies out front (ex. not matching the body’s gender or appearance)? How does the physical body impact upon the consciousness? Particularly in cases where the gender or even species are different, does it have some profound effects on the way you’d interact with or view the world?

It honestly depends on who’s out at that time. Most of the guys just get over it & consider it an “adventure” (unless the body is doing that once a month thing) the girls just complain about how much they hate they body not being more…”girly.” Most everyone copes nicely with everything though.

14. What age range do you have in your system? Do younger or older front runners have a hard time not being in an age appropriate body? Do you have children/minors in your system? What, if any, restrictions do you place on their behavior, in-system and publicly?

The age range is crazy. I think our youngest (Right now) is 3? & the oldest is centuries old. Again, everyone copes pretty well. The parents control the kids in-system & the younger one’s just don’t come out in public to make thing easy for everyone. Doesn’t seem wise to let a 3 year old out to do whatever in a 21 year old’s body, no? Haha.

15. If you could call what you are something other than MPD/DID, natural Plural or Multiple what other term might you use? Or do you like one of the existing ones? Do you call yourselves a system?

We use Medium personally, but when we are not around people who believe in such things we say Multiple. Different people need different terms. We consider ourselves a system to a sense as everyone is in it for the same goal.  

16. How do you all decide how much of yourselves is public? Do you tell everyone that you’re multiple? Are you more comfortable around other multiples than around singlets?

We decide weather they are going to be someone who is going to be close to us or not & if they aren’t then we never mention it, but if we decide we want the to stay we let them know what’s up. If they stay, that’s great, if they go then it’s all good too. Everyone has their opinion & a right to it. We are comfortable around everyone, as long as they are willing to understand us.

17. How do you keep track of who is in your system?

We used to try & keep a list but now we just let who ever wants to be known known & who ever doesn’t fade away. The main one’s are turely the only one’s that matter for everyone sanity/protection.

19. When did you all realize you were a group? Have there always been several people in your body since birth?

We REALIZED it when the body was 16 but we have tracked it back to when the body was 5 or so. We think it’s been this way from birth honestly.

20. Did something “cause” your multiplicity? Do you believe in the medical model at all, for yourself or others?

We don’t see each other as “personalities.” The host sees everyone as spirits that “come to stay.” (Goes back to being a Medium.) I can’t talk for others but I do believe everyone is different. 

21. Tell me about your ideas on integration and separateness. How does it affect your worldview?

We can’t actually give you an answer to this at the moment. 

22. Does anyone in your household/group lose time?

No.

23. Does your system as a whole deal with other kinds of neuroatypicality? Do individuals? 

Yes, but that is not something we want to talk about. 

24. How are your memories stored (each person has her or his own/different people store different types/some are personal and some are shared by everyone/other/combination)? Who has access to memories (only the person there/only certain people/anyone they affected/need to know basis)?

We all a have a collective memory but when they are doing things that do not involve the body or the host then the others keep up with it on their own. 

25. Is anyone’s identity tied to the body? How do people whose self-identification does not match the body deal with it? Does anyone in your group use the body’s birth certificate name? 

The host is tied to the body but we can’t say it’s the same host the started with the body. there is a basis there but so much has changed since birth. The host only uses the birth certificate name for ligeal things but besides that they go by Cyran/Yuki. So does everyone else unless it’s not needed.

26. Do you have a group name? How did you get it?

Not yet, but we are thinking about one. We just have to come up with one first or if someone has any suggestions then we are more then willing to hear them.

27. How are relationships handled in your group? Do you have in-system relationships? Out-of-system relationships? Is the body functionally asexual, monogamous, polyamorous or something else?

As said before, the host relationship is the most important one of all. If someone from the system wants time with their other they ask & if there is time it’s given. It there isn’t then something is arranged for later or they go where ever to see them. The host likes open relationships to make it easier on everyone (Including them) but even in a monogamous relationship they would talk to their other & explain that they are not willing to close that of to anyone who wants body time for personal reasons.

  

28. Do you celebrate any birthdays? The body’s? Individuals?

The birth day of the body (Of course!) Then a few others. Kradonous’ is Feb 14th, & Krade is December 22. Sebastian’s is September…16th I believe & everyone else just kinda gets ignored. 

29. Any advice for someone who is trying to figure out if they’re multiple, or for a new multiple just getting to know their system?

If you have any question fill free to ask someone who has been multiple longer then you. They most likely can help more then anyone else & will be more then willing to. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone. Also, make sure you get control of them before they get control of you. People will be able to tell & it will tear you apart in my experience. 

If you want to chat just let me know. 

AIM: Kradalicious

Skype: Kradalicious 

Ask me something here , or anyone else. 

Or E-mail me Cyranjharrington@yahoo.com

I am always up for answering questions, & so is anyone else here. 

The Words Of An Actor: "They Always Arrive Over Done"

I know it's not like me to post twice in  matter of days but this one thing, this one particular thing that happened last night has got me caught up in all sorts of feels that I am curious to share with others & get feed back from. If I don't get feed back though, at least it will be out of my system. 

Last night I did something stupid, I went to see if my girlfriend's ex had posted anything about us going to the art caution this Friday night for the Vagina Monologs, as predictable as ever, they had. So I read just to see what to expect when going because I hate drama & go out of my way to avoid it, so if I could get any pretenses of what to be ready for then there would be a way to avoid the drama. 

I now know that the WHOLE cast & crew of the V-Monologs dislike me/hate me without getting my side of the story, have most likely threatened me behind my back without knowing me, think that I am trash, & think that I am an abuser to/of people. Oh, & that we are coming to ruin the show for them.

1) We are going to go & donate art to support the cause of abused women everywhere so that the violence will stop. Us going has nothing to do with us wanting to ruin anything at all, we just want to help others that can't be helped like we have been helped before. How does that come back to us wanting to start drama or steal the show? 

2) If you really only want to hear it from one side of the story then that's fine, but please understand that there is always two sides to everything. I also understand that I have never tried to hear that person's side of the story either but from what happened last time I am not willing to put myself in any potions again for them to get near me in anyway. It's not worth the risk, since I have decided this then I can understand why other's would do this to me as well. 

3) The time that they were close to me I can understand why it would come off this way. I had alot of emotional things wrong with me along with alot of personal things & I'm not going to sit here & say I was right but once looking at everything now I see why I did most of what I did. I still think trash is a bit harsh for someone you only know through stories, but to each their own. 

4) I am guilty of ranting about them to my group of main support but none of them have EVER threatened them no matter how much I was hurting or said things. HELL they have gotten onto me because of things I would say. It once again shows me the kind of company one keeps really shows who they are. Or however that quote works. 

5) This is the one that bothers me the most. That they all think I am an abuser of some sort, & how it was referenced in the sentence I feel that it is safe to assume that it I was an abuser of women/peoples. This is what upset me the most. I find that this per judgement is harsh & false after being emotionally abused by my mother for so long. I have gone over everything that I have remembered & tried to figure out how this person could come to this conclusion as well as spread it all around. Perhaps I am missing something but I just can't. I say truthful harsh things because I am a blunt person & honestly is my policy. I have also worked very hard to break the cycle of abuse that my mother pushed onto me & have done a damn good job of it if I do say so myself. If anything I find it to be abusive to go around telling people I abuse people.

I would honestly like to know though, how I have abused them. How running out on two dear friends to rescues them was being abusive? How was it abusive to them when they had a large fight with their girlfriend at the time & texted me for help starting with "I know I have no right to ask this of you..." so I left my event to help. How was that abusive? Or staying on the phone with them all night to try & work out our problems? How? I just don't see it. I don't understand it. 

They tagged team me at one point with my girlfriend of the time instead of just trying to work things out with me one on one. I would have listened. Instead they went out of their way to make it that I couldn't fight back, or FELT like I couldn't fight back due to my emotional state at the time, & as soon as I wasn't willing to worship the ground they walked on they dropped my ass while taking something very dear to me & holding it for 3 years taunting me with it when the chance arose. 

But after all that I have not ONCE called them an abuser. Because I would hope that since they are running a show about NOT ABUSING PEOPLE their was another reason for all of this. Low selfestem of their own & what not. I gave the benefit of the doubt once more when I should really just...not. 

Even after this that forgiveness letter will be coming within the next month or so because thoughts of trying to talk to this person to understand what happened more have flown out the window. I was going back & forth  trying to figure out if it would be worth it even for them to go back & look like...whatever to the people they talk to most. After this though, I just can't bother to care anymore. Corrections, I WON'T put myself in this position because of this. It would just add fuel to a fire that is burning quite well all on it's own. 

Now I have one more positive thing to look at myself with. The people I keep around me. 

I couldn't be happier for them.

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Achievement unlocked: New Job

After a week of nothing but torment going between the two options of potential jobs I wanted/needed, I have chosen one. 

You are looking at the new councilor for Corbell Elementary of the YMCA after school program. I. Am. Thrilled. 

For those of you who don't know for the last week or so I had been killing myself over two jobs that were looking to heir me. I did magic upon magic for help with deciding. (Runes, Tarot, etc) I talked it over with I'm not sure how many people either, anyone who would listen really because it was two excellent opportunities & I finally had to sit down to make a pro/con list for both of them next to each other. At last though! I chose the YMCA.

Why the Y instead of Starbucks you may ask? Because my gut told me to, & whenever I was interviewing at Starbucks, both times, I would begin to shake & not be able to control it. Most people were saying it was just nerves because of how badly I wanted to get the job, but that wasn't it at all. I still can't tell you want put me off about that job but my gut told me the YMCA on more the one occasion so I listened finally. 

I should be going in to feel paper work out & what not next week, there are a few training I need to do before starting at the site & then I will be with the kids changing youngsters lives. 

Thrilled. I have no other word to describe what I am feeling right now other then, Thrilled.

It's something different, something new & opens up a whole list of jobs to me that wasn't open to me before. Not only does it do that but it also gives me a set schedule from Monday - Friday to go off of then, I am off all major Christina Holidays (which I know doesn't matter to me personally but it's nice to have the time off.) weekends for me to do whatever with & benefits. In the summer I will be working full-time for sure also. 

I think out of all of it though I am most excited to work with any of the handicapped kids that will be on that site with me. I never realized how much I missed that from my childhood. Working with them or helping someone else take care of them. It changes your world. It really, really does.

This also means I will have more time for my photography! I can go to more lectures, set up more photo-shots, see more shows, enter more shows! This excites the hell out of me after the conversation that Girlfriend & I had not to long ago. The end result of the conversation was me going through to see if anyone has ever said they didn't like I photo's or that I wouldn't make it. Oddly enough the answer came out to me no. It happened when Girlfriend started going on about how the art world is going to criticizer you no matter what & all I could think was..."But it's never been that way to me before." For Ra's sake I am a internationally published photographer, I have been in (at least) 5 shows & companies have hired me on for work before, other's have bought my work, & others just simply praise my work. So why the hell have I been so scared to pick up a camera? 

Money.

Due to my life situations I had to sit down & think about what I wanted out of life. Where I wanted to get when & what would get me there, etc. When I did that I realized how much photography was how weighed it out to if I would actually make it or not. I opted out because the likely hood was low in my head. I would never be able to support myself off of it & that's what broke it all. Because of Photoshop or because of this that or the other. It really came down to money, & that my life can't be based off of passion & dreams. I still feel like the second part is true honestly, that my life can't run off passion & dreams, but I can put it more into my life while I do other things also, a hobby can turn into something. Anything can turn into something actually, because ideas are bulletproof. 

Because of all of this though I did realize that failing at it was holding me back, because now that I am on my own (paying my own way & what not) failing is not an option, I can't afford it mentally, emotionally, financially to fail. So though I am going to be getting back into photography more to get somewhere with it I still have to only keep it as a hobby until it actually shows more promise then anything.

This brings me to my next point.

In my 2012 New Years resolutions I said that I was going to think about myself in a more positive manor what better place to start by shooting out to the world that for 6 months in February I have successfully supported myself. I think this is something to be super proud of & happy with myself for. I understand that alot of people are going to read that, roll there eyes, & comment about how I should be proud of doing it once I have done it for x number of my life. You are more then welcome to do that. To me, though, after watching my mother for so many years fail, I thought I could never do it & was thrown into it more then willing decided & I came out on top. I afford all my bills with the jobs I had with a bit extra. It was pretty tight at times but somehow I have done it. There's alot of people I couldn't of done it without of course but I'm the one who got the money to pay the bills & what not. 

I am patting myself on the back for that, along with never getting a truly bad review on my photography. 

Moving on to less muggle things, I am changing elements. 

For as long as I can remember I have been a Fire element, but as of late I feel like I am moving farther & farther away from the inferno & into the swooshing of Wind. I have been a mix of both for a while now & the fire is still there for sure but it not the angry Fire it once was. It's the hottest part of the flame, the blue. Th part that stays at the bottom, calm, collected & full of passion. I do still feel that strongly, but much more as a secondary element rather then a first. Communication is something I have needed strongly in my life for sometime now & seeing how I am going through so much change that is leading me to have to be more & more competent in this area I understand why Wind is moving up in the world. I am enjoying to cool breeze as well & most of all the when it fuels my blue passionate flame.

After this week I am done with the creation row in my Rune study! That means I have done a week study from Fehu (Cattle) to Wunjo (Joy) to an extent. After I go through all of them I will be going back to work with them in spells & what not along with doing the guided meditation for each one.

Within the next month or so I will be starting to take a loar class along with a Tarot class with my kindred & I have a stake of books I still need to read/study on the Egyptian path. 

I feel like I am coming along well in 2012. Please let me keep up the good work. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

So Much In Such Little Time

Since the new year started it doesn't feel like I've head a day off at all, which most would consider bad but I like the feeling of being busy. How every I hate the feeling that I'm not getting everything I need to get done done, thankfully things are slowing down now. Part of the reason I'm finally getting to update. 

About a week about I did nothing but gather applications & apply to this place or that all along Preston rd, I did 5 Starbucks applications before that. I was immediately interviewed someplace but let things flop with them at first then Wendsday or so I got a call from the YMCA after school program offering me a position & not 2 minutes (or maybe not even that) later the person I interviewed with called me back for a second interview. 

I was so happy I cried. 

Most of you might think that's odd because you have moved jobs so much & understand that eventually someone will hire you if you keep looking. For me though, after watching my mother fail at this over & over again for a good chunk on my life & still watch her now fail at this made me so scared that I was going to end up like her. Then hearing everyone talk about the economy & how crappy it is & how you will never get hired if you have Tat's piercings & are gay. All of the odds seemed against me. From the words I was hearing. It scared me. I do not feel I'm good at interviewing anyways so to get not only a job offer but a second interview for places I actually want to work is a HUGE thing for me. I now know I am worth it & can do it unlike my mother. I'm doing something right after all.

So I got a job offer for YMCA after school program & the job offer for Starbucks isn't on the table yet but to be interviewed by one manager then get interviewed by a store manager I find this to be a big deal. I've pretty much have the job there too & over all I have no idea which one I am going to pick. I have done some magic on it but I do not want to say what advice I was given because I don't want to jinx anything just yet. Every time I go over the pros & cons of both jobs I always find something to make up for the con I find. It's going to be a super hard choice & if I could I would take them both but Starbucks wants my schedule to be open for anything which makes sense since they want me for a full time position. Really the only thing that makes the Y job tricky is the drive out there. There isn't alot of bus lines to go out there on & if I can't get a ride then it's may not be worth taking. The other thing that may be a deciding factor is that the Y is only 20 or so hours a week & I may start at 9 dollars but even at 7.25 with Starbucks I would be making more money with the extra hours. Those are the only things I can find to be deciding factors between the job offers. 

My second interview for Starbucks is Monday & I will be so excited I will post another blog to let the world know what happened. Wish me luck!

I was thinking not to long ago that I have not introduced the newest member of our family yet for everyone to see. 

Everyone welcome ZORT as I called him in the video. I know alot of you are most likely wondering what the hell kind of name is Zort. We combined Zeus & Thor because of the white lightening strip on his head there. (I'm just not enough of a harry potter fan to subject him to that.) I honestly wanted to name him Thor but my roommate has one named Thor so yeah. Zort it was! Is...yeah. Haha! I love him. He's great except when he wakes you up by biting your toes in the morning under the blankets. Though it's still cute, just annoying. Katniss & him get along famously. In fact, when he had to stay in the emergency vet place the other night after an accident happened to him she was running around mewing for him. Broke my & Grilfriend heart honestly. 

Over all I am stratified with this year. So much is going on, & going right. It really looks like I am getting my stuff together this time. New job, new studies, new actions, new me. If you don't like me then please see yourself out. I don't have time for you. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Goodbye 2011- Hello 2012!

It's funny how time flies huh? It feel like just yesterday that it was last year. Mainly because it was, haha!

Last night we all said goodbye to 2011 & hello to 2012 in our own little ways. For me? I spent it laying in bed with Girlfriend ending & starting things with a loving passionent kiss. I don't think either of us would of had it any other way. It was wonderful, & I think the best FUCK YOU to 2011 because I made it out with something much better then I ever lost in 2011...Love. That's something to be more the proud of. 

Enough of that though, for those of you who have read my blog most of the way through, or kept up with it, you all know that 2011 was a pretty hard year for me but I have a good feeling about 2012. It's going to be my year to shine! Now to tell you how, because like the rest of you I have goals I want to make a reality this year as well!

1) Think more positively of myself.

I have come along way & though I am not where I would like to be there's plenty to be proud of already. I need to make sure I start seeing that part of me along with the parts I do not like about myself. 

2) Start working out on my days off. 

I really have let myself go & I honestly miss working out. It helps me with my moods & stress along with keeping my muscles from being to tense. So on my days that I have free I am going to start taking advantage of the work out area of my girlfriends apt since I will be here so much. No point not to use what is in front of me. 

3) Start looking for community activities to do. 

I've noticed how much of a home body I have become besides work, mainly because I work two jobs right now & other then that just because of life complications. So I am going to change that by adding a few more commitments into my life. 1- Toast Masters. This is an organization to help you train in leadership, & can help me boost my self confidence immensely. As soon as I have the free time I will be looking for a group to personally join within the next weeks or so. 2- Al-anon. For those of you who don't know, my mother became severely depressed & an alcoholic after Rick left her when I was eight. Unforenatly, I took most of the abuse from that. I did not do such great things either, but I was also too young to have been really taught certain things. Al-Anon are sister groups for AA people's families. The people who have been abused. This will give me a chance to help myself, help others, & make new friends. 3- Coaching Soccer. This last one I think I am looking forward to the most. I miss soccer with all of my heart & at this age it's very hard to find a team unless you are on a college team or playing professionally. I don't see me doing either of those at this point because of how my life has played out until now, but I can start a team. I plan on going to an association within the next few weeks or so to see what all I need to do for this activity & if I can get in by next season i will be thrilled. I will be a proud coach of a girls soccer team. I my be a role model to someone that doesn't have one right now. I can make a difference not only in their life, but mine. I can't wait. 

4) Starting up an Etsy shop for my photography & other misc skills I have to pull in extra cash. 

I really have let myself fall out of the photography loop & I think this is the best way to get back in. I need something to continue to keep my confidence up besides my own belief in myself, so if I get one of these going & people start buying from me I will be right where I want to be for now. I am going to continue to take picture's of my friends cosplays, & I will be offering pictures for anyone, or anything else. Then there will be my fine art work which I am going to see if I can get hung up in a cafe around town. (Dallas, Garland, Richardson, anywhere actually) 

5) Become the Runes Master of my Kindred

Runes are the divination that I have been wanting to learn for several years now, but was looking for a teach. I have one now (Whom I have spoken of before) & I am well on my way to not only learning them, but become a Rune Master of my Kindred.

6) Get back in school to continue my ASL studies. 

I miss school. It makes me feel like I'm going somewhere if I am there working towards something. Like I am getting the first part of my journey over with so I can get to the next part. I have people all around me to help me with any & every subject now I just have to use that & work my ass of to get to the next part so that I don't feel like I'm stuck anymore.

7) Get away from Taco Delite

For those of you who don't know I have had this job since I was 16. I will have been there for 5 years in April. As soon as I can though I am finding a replacement job for this though. They have been very good to me money wise but a few months ago I took a major pay cut while other people who have not been there as long & have mommy & daddy paying for everything still are getting the hours they need when I am having trouble making rent. Needless to say, it's time to move on. Today I am already going to apply for a few jobs & a few more tomorrow. Anywhere I can find besides Taco D. It's too far out of the way now anyhow seeing how I am mostly in Plano now-a-days. 

8) Forgive & Let go.

My other entries have explained this. 

9) Learn as much as I can about my own religious path. 

We know alot about how the old pagan people celebrated their holidays but it's mostly Celtic, or Nordic traditions. It's time for me to start doing things for my Egyptian gods. I also am going to start doing things on a more daily practice so that I can start perfecting certain things that I lightly know how to do.

10) Give 2012 your best.

I know this one seems a bit silly to put down but looking back on my life It's really not. I think I have TRIED to give my best all the time every year but I haven't. I have always hidden things not because I wanted to hide them but because I was worried that I would get made fun of if I showed them off, or that people wouldn't like me, or that it wasn't good enough. I'm done with that. If you don't like what you see or what you get from me you came in through the door you can leave from. I'm not changing, I'm not going to put on a false face anymore, & I'm going to let it all hang out. Tidily so though. Haha.

SO WATCH OUT 2012 HERE I COME. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

P.S. Here's some songs for me to start of the new year with.