The Good, The Bad, & The In-between.

Since you heard from me last I have been up on stage at The Open Stage, gone to A-Kon handing out about 200+ business cards, gone to a new Egyptian based circle that I plan on attending again in the future, have began cooking more at home to eat out less, on my 4th week of summer camp, & have learned so much more about the world then I can begin to explain. 

Getting up on Open Stage was quite a whim but, as you all know, I have been wanting to do that for quite a while now. There was a small audience due to other happenings in the area so I took my chance when I could. It. Felt. Great. The best part is that I want to do it again but with something much more light hearted. I originally wanted to read off the poem I had written not to long ago I Have Died but I'm not too comfortable  getting up in front of people & reading something I haven't memorized due to my Dyslexia. I would rather not make an ass out of myself my first time on stage at a place I would like to be respected for who & what I am. So I went up & talked about something that was much closer to my heart. The good times & how we need to remember them more then the bad because they will get you through no matter what. Because the reason I am a photographer is because of the good times. Because of this one photo that I always remember seeing that has been burned into my mind now of a photograph of my mother & I at our first house front yard smiling like nothing else matter. It's the best memory I have sometimes. Of my mother & I. seeing how we don't exactly get along now. 

I guess you could say it's my personal creation story to my business, if that makes sense.

When I go up on stage next I think I am going to get everyone to do a summer camp song. Should be fun!

A-Kon...every year I saw after the passing weekend that it takes place I say that next year that "I'm not going next year!" but when time comes...there I am. Standing there wondering what the fuck is wrong with me to keep me coming back. This year it was all business though. 

I handed out 200+ business cards this convention to everyone that I took a photo of in Cosplay & since A-Kon my business' Facebook page has 17 more so likes then it did before & it's still counting! I'm I have a bit of the photos I have edited up from A-kon but I'm no where near done with them all. I actually have about 200+ photos to still edit after three different files dumps. We will see what happens when I get them all done. I am hoping to have 100+ likes by the end of it & have a big client base in the Cosplay world. The other exciting thing about A-kon was that I was on press staff! One of the people that volunteered got sick & wasn't able to make it, so I was given the spot. The lighting arrangement in the Sheraton was a challenge with no other light source, I know I did my best with what I had though & I will get the best results that I can out of them. Next year will be better for sure in that area!

I will be doing the same thing at A-fest with my business cards as well! Anytime I take someone's photo I hand them a card. Then more people will come to me for their photo needs! It would be even more amazing to be invited to a con as a photographer. That is a long ways off though. 

The last day of Kon however, was not so pleasant. 

Saturday night Girlfriend & I were getting ready to go to the rave when I received a text from a mutual friend of my ex-roommate & I saying that she needed to talk to me ASAP, she had something on her chest she needed to get off about ex-roommate that impacted Girlfriend & I in a big way. Girlfriend finished getting ready after we both kinda rolled our eyes at it thinking that it was the ex-roommate pulling shit again & strutted our way down to meet Mutual friend. 

Needless to say, when we got there, it wasn't the ex-roommate pulling crap. Mutual friend told us that she had stolen 300+ dollars from the dealers & that she had been barging about the things that she had stolen from me along with purposefully over charging me on rent because "I don't like her." Needless to say I was not okay. I CAN NOT wrap my mind around that. Doing something like that to someone because you simply "don't like them"... You know what? I don't fucking like you either but I would never over charge you on things that you couldn't afford to begin with. I would never go into your personal space & take things that didn't belong to me because I wanted to "get back at you" or what every. The only reason I can that that she doesn't like me is because I didn't do exactly what she wanted me to at one point & pushed away from her. I had other things in my life besides her & she didn't fucking like that. 

Needless to say I am still fairly angry & upset by this because I just don't understand it. I don't understand the though process, or the actions of it. I don't understand how you can live with yourself knowing what you can you have that isn't fair, or right to others. 

We tried to make something happen that night to get her booted out, but we had to wait until the next morning. By the end of it all, from what I know, she is now black listed from A-kon AND Ikki-con. We are also going to take actions at AnimeFest when we go this year to make sure this doesn't happen again. 

After all of this though I will say that I have gotten a much large back bone. I don't put up with much of anything unless I HAVE TO for some reason. I've even stopped putting up with things from Girlfriend. 

Sunday was also the day that Girlfriend's ex decided to cause whatever drama she wanted. It has finally gotten Girlfriend to agree not to talk to her at all anymore which makes me more then beyond happy, but that's another story for another day. 

The summer camp job is going over swimmingly! I love being with the kids & having such a strong influence on their life. I love walking into the buildings in the morning & have 5-10 different kids run up to me screaming my name while telling me how much they missed me. Even the camp songs are pretty awesome! It's all a joy, though the main boss is still a pain (the one above my site director.) but I only have to deal with her once in a while, so it's not so bad.

My most recent holiday was Midsummer in which Bitfrost is celebrating today, but last night I went to a circle that I had been trying to go to for MONTHS now & it finally all lined up. I loved it. I made some new friends & it was Egyptian based. They also do full moon circles with I am excited to attend in the next months. Today I am actually acting as High Priest of Bitfrost & calling down the sun energy then giving it to the circle. One BIG step for me. Here's to having the faith that I don't fuck it up. 

Over all I am well~ish..I am taking some me time out of life to get some of my personal internal issues settled after A-kon's drama. (You can never get away from it free.) I may post up a story or too soon once I get a clear vision of what I want in my head. It will be a Kradonous story because his thoughts just don't sound good written like a journal. 

Hats to you until then.

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Relic Photography, Memories Fade, but Photos are Forever.

Busy busy busy, what is what I have been really. I honestly shouldn't be taking my time out to write this but I feel like some me time now & again is a good thing. 

Business is good but not as good as I want it to be. Mainly my friends are the one's paying for photoshoots, which I beyond appreciate but I want to get gigs from people that look at my stuff & just think that it's that good that they would be willing to pay my price for it. I honestly think the price I am telling people it's bad at all for what they are getting. 75 dollars for a shoot, they usually last 1 hour or an hour & a half depending, I usually come out with about 300+ photos. I go through them pic out what shots would be best to edit, I usually get about 40-50 depending, then I spend about 5 hours editing (sometimes more). This bundle also comes with a free CD of any photos that I have edited with no watermarks. If someone is a close friend I drop the price for them or we work out something that is in their price range. If the customer wants prints it does cost extra due to having to resize the image, order it then drive to pic them up. I'm still working out price ranges for print packages though. 

I feel as though my work is quality even if I don't have all of those fancy things other people have. I just don't have the money for them right now & when I do I will be buying everything I need as I can afford but getting there is the hard part. The thing that I am looking at most right now is the Nikon D5100. It's a beautiful camera & something I need to upgrade to. It has a 100-6400 ISO & either 16-20 megapixels, there are a lot of other functions to it as well but those are the main ones I look at when I look at camera sections. I have found it as cheap as 700 right now & after my first check from working at summer camp (if things go my way) I will be the owner of it. This doesn't mean my D40 is going to just sit on a shelf. It will take me a while to get used to all the new functions for the new D5100 so I will still have my D40 out & about for a while until I get a chance to play with my new one until I am comfortable with it. 

If anyone reading this blog would like to check out my work then see my page at Relic Photography. This is as professional as I can afford right now but it has served me well so far, I look forward to it serving me for a bit longer until I get a stand alone site up. I kinda want to go out & hawk my camera abilities on a street corner like they do at the ren fairs, "Come come & see a magic trick of me freezing a moment in time for your viewing pleasure for the rest of eternity. Know that while you buy a shot or any photo from me then you are helping me towards making the moments I capture of you better & better." Who knows if it would sell anything or not. I'm sure I can come up with much wittier lines if I truly wanted to but that was the first thing off of my head. 

Lets see...this week I have to finish up a shot of my friend from Friday, then start on the photos from Scarbi on Saturday, & then I may have a shoot today for a friends mom with the kids & then tomorrow is Open Stage. I feel like I have to have all of this done by then end of the week too. My life will be much less crazy when I get caught up in all of my editing. It's happening slowly but surely but I need it to happen a bit faster. I want to get all of this done by the end of the week because next weekend is A-Kon 23. It's going to be nothing but three days of shooting (4 if you include Thursday.) but I know I will be better come out then going in. This is going to help me build up my portfolio for cosplay, get my name out there more in a world that always needs photographers, & lets me work on my indoor lighting skills along with doing things without having a real set up to it all. I will be grabbing people as the walk by & asking them if I can take there picture then handing them a card afterwards. I may take 4 hours out of the day to really look around & shop but for the most part this is a networking thing now not a pleasure thing. That's how I see it anyways. 

My summer job starts on the 4th of June & I am more then excited for this. I look forward to getting to know all the kids & spending lots of time with them, but I am always looking forward to the pay. Though it is a pay cut I will be working 40 hours, or at least should be. I think I'm going to love it. We go swimming every week one day & then every week we have a field trip that we go on. I'm sad that I won't be able to take my camera on these trips but I am excited to go & enjoy them just to enjoy them. I am freaked out about having to handle 10 kids every time I go in places like the Zoo, or Six Flags but this is just another learning opportunity & test on how well I will do with what situations. Besides watching the kids though I am in charge of working out crafts every week, or skits which I am excited for. I'll be working with another counsler on it & I know I can do crafts but the skits I am glad she will be there for. 

Over all the job is going swimmingly besides my direct boss being an ass. Apparently even though you are are not a christian you have to attend a service at training because it is mandatory for the "experience." I wanted to tell her that if I wanted the experience of god shoved down my throat I would willingly go down the road every Sunday. Sometimes I don't know how I keep my mouth shut. Then on Monday when I went to the main office to do somethings she called me out in front of everyone (which they train us not to do to the kids so I'm not really sure why it's okay for them to do it to us.) about how I didn't take out my lips rings at training. At that time I was still rather tired from the actually over night training so I just let it slid, but I wanted to go off on her more then anything in the world. 

Another big news about my job is that I am in charge of my site for the next week until schools out. I was in charge of it last week too. My site director found another, better paying job which she took. I feel I have handled the kids very well since she has been gone, though I can't say that about the other consuler there. I can't stand her honestly. She's useless unless when it comes to doing her job. The best part is when she tells me how to do my job. I kinda want to look at her & say "I think I can handle it seeing how I have only been here 3 months & trust me as site director when you have been here longer. Just sayin." Or I want to yell at her about not flirting with her boyfriend that works at the program next door, or yelling at the kids like that are dogs, or telling me what the hell is wrong with her when she doesn't run it by me before she does something with the kids. For example, we have a kid that likes to help around the school with her teachers & things. So she comes in & then leaves a bit later (after snake) well she told the other counsler & not me so I ran around looking for her for a good 10 minutes. I could have killed my Co-worker. 

Thankfully I only have to deal with her another week, then I'm done until next year & hopefully she won't be coming back. -Crosses fingers-

In other news Girlfriend & I are doing well now after our rough patch. Things are getting much better. We finally had a long talk with her like I said for months I was going to have with her. After that we are getting better. We now do this thing where very night before bed we say one positive thing about each other & one negative thing. The negative is more of something that is a constructive criticism thing then just bashing on each other. I think it gives us both a reality check after the day is done & keeps us on leveled ground because then we are both working on something together & have a general idea of how the other one is feeling in that time. 

This past week we went to get our ferrets checked up & the rest of their shots so & Ember is doing wonderfully from what I first took her in. That enlarged kidney is much, much better. She is eating ferret food now instead of cat food, & is gaining weight! She plays more & will follow me around. She comes out when I get home to say hi & get some lovin. Apollo & her are glued together I swear, unless one is sleeping. Over all this is a great thing & it makes me over joyed to hear it all & see it all. 

I think to wrap this whole thing up I'll just go over quickly what I am planning on doing other then job & photography wise. I picked up the guitar. It hurts my wrist a lot at the moment & I'm hoping that it hurt less the most I practice. I am still working on juggling, once I get two down it's on to three I'm getting there. Soccer is back in my life though I haven't gotten to truly go & play yet but I just found the keys to my storage unit so I can get my cleats out & head they way some Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday. I'm am starting to cast Runes slowly. I'm thinking about taking a Sunday & going up to a Starbucks or something & just sitting down & playing with them until people come up & ask for a reading. This sounds like a good way of practicing because that is honestly how I am going to learn them past what I have done right now. A friend of mine, who will be called Jeweler, have decided to take a leather working class. As long as you buy a kit the class for it is free which I'm more then excited for. I've wanted to work with leather for a while now so getting the chance to be thought is big in my book. Girlfriend & I have found a reasonable belly dance place that we are considering joining. It's 50 a month for a class a week & 6 moths for beginners, you end with a choreographer dance. I've wanted to do belly dance for a while now too & Girlfriend wanting to do it with me is even better. Jeweler is always going to teach me how to make jewelry too. 

I think that is it for now, there are other things I am looking at for later dates when I get more serious about them I will start informing you of what I am doing. 

I'm in the stage of my life where I am in the business of acquiring skills. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

The Little Things

These are sometimes so hard to remember when in hard times, I do my best though because the little things are what get me by. 

I have been crazy busy with my photography, mostly editing & getting things better organized from my past self along with editing new things to get up for the viewing pleasure of many. I honestly forgot how good it felt to be behind the lens of a camera again. To capture that one moment that is happening then so that others can remember it forever. Oh man, oh man... But there is something I have noticed behind my lens, I only have two real talents, kicking a ball really far (Because I have 13 years of experience with that) & taking a hell of a good photo. This displeases me more then you know. I watch everyone else do all the crazy things up on Open Stage while all I feel I can do is take a good shot of what is happening.

It just doesn't feel right. 

I want to do more then be in the back ground. I want to KNOW more then that. I want to speak a word that moves someone. i want to dance to music & show the world a different kind of reality even if it is just for 3 short minutes. I want out of this shell I have so comfortably put myself because I know I am better then this & it's about damn time I showed the world that I am. 

In the past couple months I have done some serious evaluating of my life. Going over what I want, what I don't want, what I would like to work on, how to go about it, etc. Over all I have found that I am displeased with a lot of things. I'm not really liking where I am because I feel so...small. Is the best way to put it. I have changed so much over the year & where there is a huge part of me that is better for it, there is a whole part of me that most don't get to see anymore that, I feel, is the better part of me. There are friendship in my life that just need to not be there anymore. As much as I care about the people I feel like these relationships are unhealthy for me & over all pulling me down.

A bird can't fly if it's weighted down.

So what actions am I taking to fix this new found problem, you may ask? Simple, I am branching out. 

First & for most I am learning (with the help of some friends) how to move my body in the way I watch in owe of other's moving their's. I am learning how to make simple moments look extravagant with that help of simple tools. I am learning how to hula hoop. I am learning how to flag. I am learning poi. After that I will perfect my juggling, along with contact juggling. I am going to get Girlfriend to teach me guitar when she decides that she has time. I am also going to read (or reread, depending) some books to get together a monologue to perform to work on the different sides of myself. (I'm really learning towards doing something from Fight Club right now because I am already so familiar with it.) There is a store from high school I wish to go over to make it longer, more detailed. A bit of a short story actually.

Once I feel like I am good enough for these things I will get my happy ass up on stage & blow people away along with myself. 

Before that though I will stay to the shadows, & watch, catching moments that will never come again for that person so that the photo I take may always bring a smile to their faces. I love making people smile after all.

I am not going to be quitting photography again though, just adding more skills to my set that is lacking them. In fact my photography is going swimmingly. In the past 2 months I have most likely made a good 200 off my photography & plan to continue this trend for years to come, increasing as I go along of course. I am getting business cards this Sat, I have an official Facebook page along with an Etsy shop. I have even been keeping up with things on my deviantART. Then there is also a tumblr page just for my art. It all seems like it's slowly but surely coming to together. I am making connections, getting my name out there & have amazing people willing to support me. Hopefully I won't go crazy with my own thoughts of doubt & worry. 

Money is still pretty tight for me, even with the extra cash from my dream job. I know it's because I am doing a lot of saving for the week long cruise in October but it's still rather killing me emotionally more then anything. I have panic attacks again, I tend to be rather touchy when it comes to anything, I'm getting more & more anxious & angry over small things (small things that are big in my world but not anyone else's but still...). I do my best every day to keep myself in check which, I feel, is also taking a toll on me. Since the Girlfriend has been rather out of it lately I have kept it all kind of tucked away because I needed to hold her up, because I am a rock. I just hope I can keep doing it on my own. Monday nights make me smile & that helps me through the weeks a lot more then I think anyone knows. I also think a lot of it has to do with how busy I have been with my photography too. I literally wake up editing & go to sleep editing with little to no time for much else. Now that I am getting caught up in in though (getting everything I want up on Etsy while reediting most of everything) I feel like I will have more time for everything else after that.

Baby steps. Breathing is the number one priority, while everything else follows. It is nice to see a light at the end of the tunnel though. 

This weekend I have Scarbi on Sat, then a family shoot on Sunday, a friend wants me to do a shoot with her Monday & then Open Stage is on Monday. This next week will be beyond interesting when it comes to my photography work.

In the less good news of my personal work, my Nikon D40, that I have had since Sophomore year of high school, is finally biting it. The series of camera is no longer made anyhow so either way it is bound to happen sooner or later. (Just wish it had been later) On top of that my computer that I have had since my 17th birthday is finally biting it as well. Sometime next week I plan on looking around more intensely on prices of these two along with quality. If I am lucky I will find a computer with a payment plan I can get on & a DSLR camera that is used but not out of my price range. Before I consider what camera I get though i will be looking at all of the specs & going around to local stores along with researching online about what is what to make sure i am getting EXACTLY what I want. When it comes to me tool of trade I will not fuck around. I'm hoping by the end of the year (if I keep saving like I am) I will be back on track with everything I need for my trade (Even some pretty new lenses.)

I do have some very exciting news besides my Photography happenings, I got the summer camp counlser job for the YMCA. This has me thrilled. I will be working full time all summer long with kids. (You have no idea how much those kids brighten my day but that doesn't mean I want one) Also, my site director has just put in her weeks notice after finding another job. By next year I may actually be the Site Director at Allen Elementary in Frisco making a good portion more then what I am making right now. 

I. Am. So. Excited. 

We will see though. If it does happen there is going to be a lot of changes at the site & some of the kids may not like it & act out about it but we will be sure to have fun because that's what they should be having. 

Another exciting news is that I may have found a soccer team for my age group to play on. It's a little pricey but over all, I think it will be well worth is. I am still waiting for more details on the tryouts & all that jazz but once I know I am sure to post something. This was the high light of my day today when i got this email for a meetup group. I am crossing my fingers & if things go my way I will be picking up where I left off by June 8th.

A-kon is just around the river bend as well, I'm hoping to pull together SOMETHING cosplay wise at the sorta last minute. One of the I already have & the other I want to do shouldn't be to hard to scramble together if AT&T doesn't take all my money away. Ugh I'm getting tired of them. I have not gotten a bill yet that I haven't had to call them about. Annoying. As. Hell.

In June & July I will be writing more forgiveness letters as much as i don't actually want to but I need to. It's going to get me to the next step in life. If I have the time I may actually do one on Mother's Day, depending on how busy I am with everything else. 

Over all, I am doing my best to remember that the little things are the things that matter the most. My loyalty, my honestly, the little furriers in my life, the roof over my head, the job I love, the girl I wake up next to everyday & come home to, the camera that's getting me started & the friends that I helping me through it all while walking with me. 

The little things will get me by. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

Head Is Held HIgh

Oh man oh man, what can I say. Things are all falling in to place right now & I'm more then happy for it to finally happen.


I started yesterday at the YMCA after school program & literally I had a dream an exact scene that happened yesterday less then 6 months ago. I remember waking up from the dream KNOWING I needed to work with kids. It's amazing how my life works it's self out this way. It was the longest Da ja vu I have ever had too. That made me feel like I was closer to my spirituality more then anything in the world. I'm on to something & I'm going to keep going with it.


On the other hand it makes me feel like I'm not making my own choices that someone (Or something) else has laid out for me, which is some what nerve wracking, but I feel no ill intention behind it so I will continue chugging along. After yesterday though I feel like my life is beginning to come together for the first time in so very very long. The kids yesterday were great, & the environmental was even better. There were a few things that the kids asked/said I had a hard time responding to but I think, for a first timer, that I handled them smoothly.


I am happy with this change, & I am proud of myself for making it happen. For the first time in Ra knows how long I am looking forward to my life's future....If you only knew how good it is to say that, to say it & believe it with all of my soul. If you only.


On top of that work load I have already had someone come to me & ask me to do their wedding pictures in 2013. The grome has also asked me to do some commercial work for the company he works with. It was very exciting & quite a challenge. I took it on with the best of my ability though & have not heard bad things back so I am assuming all was well with the photos. This boost my confidence a crazy amount & gets me wanting to pick up my camera more & more. I have also been going back & looking over my old stuff to see what I can change about which photos to build some new portfolios. It's exilerating. Here are some examples.

These are just the one's I've really touched so far.I do hope you enjoy them. Man has my vision changed since I last did all this stuff. In a good way though. I understand alot of the things I didn't before after the long break. 

On top of all that the Bride that I had mentioned from the wedding above as came to me after we talked one night & told me that I helped her find a path after a while of shearing. This. Was. An. Amazing. Feeling. Last year sometime I had decided that this was the type of person I would become. The helper, the light, the thing people could look for to get them to their next step in this arms race. 

I am succeeding in this, & I can not express to you how happy this makes me.

I have wanted to be that for so long & I could never figure out why it never happened but it is now. I'm excited, I'm enthralled, I can't wait to help the next person. I'm finally living up to my own expectations for the first time &...just...yeah. It's.... riveting is the best word I could find for it. 

On top of that I have also finished the first row out of three in my Runes study, which is great & I'm really starting to get the hang of it all. The only part that I'm having a hard time with is connecting them all together once they are pulled & in front of me. Girlfriend is better at that so we are going to sit down one day (soon I hope) to help each other out. I will be teaching her the Rune's & then she will be teaching me how to work the puzzle of them. Good bonding time for us too. 

Last but not least Charming of the Plow was this past Sunday & I can see us as a group advancing which is something else that excites me to no end. We are a family unit & you can really see it all happening. We are all growing together & even though we get mad at one another from time to time, over all you can see the love. 

I can not express how great it is to finally have a family in my life. I stable one that WON'T turn it's back on me in times of anything. Even if I am being the stupidest person alive. The have helped me more then they probably know, don't want them getting a bit head after all haha, & I'm not sure where I would be right now without their help. 

Man am I happy right now. Lots of stuff to be happy about too. Lots & lots & lots. 

So the last thing on my list is saying that I have no free weekends this month. Between new job trainings, dates, & my 21 BIRTHDAY PARTY. YEAH! Then there is moving. But it's all good positive things to be doing on my weekends. 

I can't wait to see what the future holds. For the first time in a very long time I'm not scared of tomorrow. 

I am liberated after 21 years.

~Cyran J. Harrington~