Achievement unlocked: New Job

After a week of nothing but torment going between the two options of potential jobs I wanted/needed, I have chosen one. 

You are looking at the new councilor for Corbell Elementary of the YMCA after school program. I. Am. Thrilled. 

For those of you who don't know for the last week or so I had been killing myself over two jobs that were looking to heir me. I did magic upon magic for help with deciding. (Runes, Tarot, etc) I talked it over with I'm not sure how many people either, anyone who would listen really because it was two excellent opportunities & I finally had to sit down to make a pro/con list for both of them next to each other. At last though! I chose the YMCA.

Why the Y instead of Starbucks you may ask? Because my gut told me to, & whenever I was interviewing at Starbucks, both times, I would begin to shake & not be able to control it. Most people were saying it was just nerves because of how badly I wanted to get the job, but that wasn't it at all. I still can't tell you want put me off about that job but my gut told me the YMCA on more the one occasion so I listened finally. 

I should be going in to feel paper work out & what not next week, there are a few training I need to do before starting at the site & then I will be with the kids changing youngsters lives. 

Thrilled. I have no other word to describe what I am feeling right now other then, Thrilled.

It's something different, something new & opens up a whole list of jobs to me that wasn't open to me before. Not only does it do that but it also gives me a set schedule from Monday - Friday to go off of then, I am off all major Christina Holidays (which I know doesn't matter to me personally but it's nice to have the time off.) weekends for me to do whatever with & benefits. In the summer I will be working full-time for sure also. 

I think out of all of it though I am most excited to work with any of the handicapped kids that will be on that site with me. I never realized how much I missed that from my childhood. Working with them or helping someone else take care of them. It changes your world. It really, really does.

This also means I will have more time for my photography! I can go to more lectures, set up more photo-shots, see more shows, enter more shows! This excites the hell out of me after the conversation that Girlfriend & I had not to long ago. The end result of the conversation was me going through to see if anyone has ever said they didn't like I photo's or that I wouldn't make it. Oddly enough the answer came out to me no. It happened when Girlfriend started going on about how the art world is going to criticizer you no matter what & all I could think was..."But it's never been that way to me before." For Ra's sake I am a internationally published photographer, I have been in (at least) 5 shows & companies have hired me on for work before, other's have bought my work, & others just simply praise my work. So why the hell have I been so scared to pick up a camera? 

Money.

Due to my life situations I had to sit down & think about what I wanted out of life. Where I wanted to get when & what would get me there, etc. When I did that I realized how much photography was how weighed it out to if I would actually make it or not. I opted out because the likely hood was low in my head. I would never be able to support myself off of it & that's what broke it all. Because of Photoshop or because of this that or the other. It really came down to money, & that my life can't be based off of passion & dreams. I still feel like the second part is true honestly, that my life can't run off passion & dreams, but I can put it more into my life while I do other things also, a hobby can turn into something. Anything can turn into something actually, because ideas are bulletproof. 

Because of all of this though I did realize that failing at it was holding me back, because now that I am on my own (paying my own way & what not) failing is not an option, I can't afford it mentally, emotionally, financially to fail. So though I am going to be getting back into photography more to get somewhere with it I still have to only keep it as a hobby until it actually shows more promise then anything.

This brings me to my next point.

In my 2012 New Years resolutions I said that I was going to think about myself in a more positive manor what better place to start by shooting out to the world that for 6 months in February I have successfully supported myself. I think this is something to be super proud of & happy with myself for. I understand that alot of people are going to read that, roll there eyes, & comment about how I should be proud of doing it once I have done it for x number of my life. You are more then welcome to do that. To me, though, after watching my mother for so many years fail, I thought I could never do it & was thrown into it more then willing decided & I came out on top. I afford all my bills with the jobs I had with a bit extra. It was pretty tight at times but somehow I have done it. There's alot of people I couldn't of done it without of course but I'm the one who got the money to pay the bills & what not. 

I am patting myself on the back for that, along with never getting a truly bad review on my photography. 

Moving on to less muggle things, I am changing elements. 

For as long as I can remember I have been a Fire element, but as of late I feel like I am moving farther & farther away from the inferno & into the swooshing of Wind. I have been a mix of both for a while now & the fire is still there for sure but it not the angry Fire it once was. It's the hottest part of the flame, the blue. Th part that stays at the bottom, calm, collected & full of passion. I do still feel that strongly, but much more as a secondary element rather then a first. Communication is something I have needed strongly in my life for sometime now & seeing how I am going through so much change that is leading me to have to be more & more competent in this area I understand why Wind is moving up in the world. I am enjoying to cool breeze as well & most of all the when it fuels my blue passionate flame.

After this week I am done with the creation row in my Rune study! That means I have done a week study from Fehu (Cattle) to Wunjo (Joy) to an extent. After I go through all of them I will be going back to work with them in spells & what not along with doing the guided meditation for each one.

Within the next month or so I will be starting to take a loar class along with a Tarot class with my kindred & I have a stake of books I still need to read/study on the Egyptian path. 

I feel like I am coming along well in 2012. Please let me keep up the good work. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~