Her

You know, after yesterday I have come to realize a few things that I haven't been doing that I should be. All of them revolve around Girlfriend, & one of the main things I haven't been doing is showing her off as much as I think, now, that I should. So I will start by telling you lot about her, because she is mentioned here but never for really more then an "I love her" with a reasoning before the statement or after. 

I guess I should explain how I finally came to this conclusion besides my amazing powers of observations.

Yesterday Girlfriend had surgery on her sinuses because the were super small & causing her a mass of medical problems that she didn't need/want. She asked me to come with her because it would make her feel better & what not, I agreed. As the days counted down to this event I felt a knot in my stomach due to her mother's presence there. But I pushed it down knowing that Girlfriend needed/wanted me there & I was going to do everything I could to make this day better/easier for her.

Low & behold, her mother didn't fail to cause more problems then help with things. 

We woke up, got everything together, & went off to the place we were supposed to go, got everything in order, then me & her mother waited until it was time to go see her. 

After she was in recovery the doctor came out to talk to her mother then noticed me & asked if I was a sister, cousin, & what have you. I promptly responded with "I'm her girlfriend." In which he smiled & explained everything to me directly this time instead of her mother & I could feel the heat of her mother's glare on my back. 

When we finally got to go back to see Girlfriend to take her home her mother was none too pleased that she kept looking at me & that I held her hand to let her know that she was okay & that I was there. (Which is what she wanted me to do & I obliged.) 

Her mother pretty much treated me like crap the whole way home, snapping at me & giving me dirty looks in the mirror. She was even annoyed that I helped her go to the bathroom when she needed it because you know...THAT'S WHY I WAS THERE.

Anyways, we get back to Girlfriend's parents house in Rockwall & Girlfriend wanted me to lay with her until she feel asleep. Of course I oblige because I know how I don't want to feel alone when I feel like crap & have just gone through something like that so why would I denied someone that didn't want to feel that way? We get to a bed & I go to slip in after her & her mother losses it. "No!" She exclaimed. "Come on she need to rest alone." She so lovingly coxed me off the bed. 

"She asked me to." I responded & again her mother gave me the negative.

Girlfriend finally said it was fine so I reluctantly got up & left the room to finish unloading the car & what have you with more then rage about to come out of me. I got things out of the car & took them to the room upstairs where we stay when coming here. When I brought her her favoret stuffed animal & the blanket she brought her mother gave me a look that if they could kill I would already be buried in the field in the back.

We were both quite upset by her mother yesterday for not only treating me that way, but her own daughter. She made Girlfriend feel worse then she already did. The only reason I didn't scream at her was to make Girlfriend's day go smoothly so there was as little trouble for her as possible so she could recover. 

I don't think I will ever forget how horrible I felt though. Because the only reason her mother was doing that to me was because I am Biologically a women. Because she has been taught to disapprove of the LGBT community. Because she would rather see a man, who is more likely to abuse her daughter, with her daughter...then a women...& there was Nothing. I. Could. Do. About. It. 

Any other day, I would have gone off & made valid logical points to her & made her feel bad for how she was making her daughter feel. I wanted to ask her how it made her feel doing this to her daughter when I have done nothing but good things for her. How would she feel if she went in for surgery & someone kept her husband away from her after words because a fictional book that has been re-translated for Ra knows how long has has told them that it is "wrong" for them to love each other? I wanted to her to make me understand how she couldn't be happy about her daughter finding someone who was more then willing to take care of her in her time of need? I wanted her to show me how she was more right for hating then we were for loving. 

Something tells me I never will though. Because love should over rule hate, in my min any how. 

After all of this is how I came to realize so much about her. About how much I actually care about her. About how much I would like this to be long term & that I think I am willing to trust it to be. About everything she has done for me without me noticing just how much it has done for me. 

I love her. 

I love her so much I don't know if there are words to explain it. But I know I do in my actions. 

Ultamintly I know she knows, which is all that really matters but I feel like the world needs to know that I love her, & that she loves me.

We love each other. Even when we fight, I never have to worry about her not loving me, because we fight because we love each other, & we want to work things out. Everything we do for each other is not to show one another up, or prove we are better then the other, or to show who cares more, we do it out of love & caring with no guilt attached. 

We are very different people after all. In very different worlds but yet oddly similar in our own respects & exactly the same in our love.

~Cyran J. Harrington~