Sharing The Art

Last night (Feb 11th) Girlfriend & I went on a date to the 4th Underground show for ArtLoveMagic (A local art community here in Dallas) & had a BLAST! It was my first Tag show to ever go to & the first of it's kinds date for Girlfriend. 

Walking in all we saw was artiest for yards to the left & the right. Many of them doing live art. So many people too, it was like being at an anime convention all over again. I couldn't wait to get down there & look at all the art. It all seemed invigorating,new & overall exciting. 

The first thing we came across was the Circus Freaks. We only got to see one of their shows (sadly) but they were dressed the part & the show we did see what a poy spinner, Little G. He normally does fire spinning but since it was an inside event that was next to impossible to do. The dubstep music was great & the blinking glow sticks (which were the fire substitutes) spun like crazy & he intracnced us all that were sitting there. After Little G's number was done it was hands on work shop time! The fact they they offered this made me smile. It gave a chance for anyone who wanted to learn how to do what they were doing to try it & get some tips to perfect it. It was nice to see people wanting to help others for once in the art community. 

 These are some shots of Little G doin his grove thang. Haha! Also, on another are we got from them, we found out that they do a show every MOnday night at the House of Poets from 8pm-9pm then have the hands on workshop from 9pm-12am. It's $10 to cover & it's 21 & up. 580 W. Arapaho Road, Suite 199 Richardson, Tx 75080.

That is something that has bothered me alot of the art community (Not sure if it's just around here or in general but...) there seems to be a lack of willingness to help one other. Everyone says they they want to help however they can to get other people to their dreams but then turn the other check & it drives me mad. One of the reasons I adore ArtLoveMagic so much cause they are actually willing to help one another advance. 

Aralyn Mcgregor wasn't the next artist we encountered but it's one that defiantly caught our eye. As soon as I can afford it I will be looking in to her art to buy. It was soft & pleasant & caught you in a moment for several moments. You can't quite put your finger on it but it holds you there & makes you think. The other thing that I liked about her art is that there was alot of women power pieces. I'm always looking for artists that show a side of something for it's strengths, not it's weaknesses. 

Brandy Collins is an artist we actually bought from! She had little 5x7 prints of her paintings, that she dropped the price (after us getting confused about it all) to 4 for a dollar. So we got Guitar Kiss, Searching for a constant, & the other two I can't find on her site, but they were all wonderful pieces. This though (I can't find the name for it.) was my favorite. I didn't get to buy it but I plan to when I get the money for it because it was just so eye catching. The other things I really enjoyed about about the artiest was that she engaged us. When we took an interest in her art she imidiately turned around & began to talk to us & ask how we were & so forth. It's so nice to be acknowledged by a friendly person. 

Pink Light images  was SO much fun & gave me along of inspiration for my own photography. She had a wooden booth with with some lights hanging about & in the back she had some people from the show come in & paint the back to look like a solar system. The lighting was great & she was so happy & fun with her pink hair that she was something to remember. It didn't seem like she was there to make money, she was there to put smiles on people's faces. Her bubble gum pink hair was something worth remembering, for sure.  I'm impatient to see the photo's of Girlfriend & I. There was also a 5x7 print I really liked & wanted to see if she had a bigger copy of. (Here's her image of us! That was super fast!) If you want to see all of them then just go to events, & then to underground 4! 

The Killer Art was AMAZING. I had never seen something like this before. He took slabs of metal, carved an outline into them, then "painted" it with a BLOWTORCH. We got to see him to it all & MAN OH MAN WAS IT COOL. If either of us could of afford it we would have gotten a an art piece from him. But we have his website & I would like to ask to see if he would be willing to do a Ra piece for me. The wall hangings is more of what we saw at the show.

This is The Killer Art at work. It was an amzinv thing to watch & if I would of been smart I would of taken a video, but...I did not think of it. So here are some photos.

 Cori Berg I don't actually remember that much but Girlfriend picked up her card because it was pretty. (Just like her huh? Haha!) But none the less her stuff seems great, & she's pretty. Can't go wrong there can you?

Called To Be An Artist had wonderful stuff. I was really impressed by some of her photography & the different techniques she used. The only thing that turned me off was how out there Christian she was. I'm super glad she is religious & has found her path that fits her shoes but to put a bible in someone's bag when they buy things from you isn't something I would ever recommend. She was sweet &, again, I loved her art for the art. It all looked great & we even bought a few prints from her "Against abuse" series (I believe that's what it was.) Her paper flowers were what originally caught our eye to begin with.

Three of One if three different people that all work together for their art. They just all happen to be brothers! I find that family businesses are the best kind & it seems like these three are really pulling it off! We bought a piece from these guys too particulerally Jerod Alexander Davies who does the body painting art. We bought the one of the girl with the cherry blossoms on her shoulder, but everything we saw here was wondrous! More then something we enjoyed. I'm actually considering it they need any more models for the body art because I would love to become an art piece even if I did have to be nude. I don't think I would be too worried about it around these guys anyways because if you are around an artist nude, it's not like being around anybody nude. It's overly hard to explain in words on a blog, just trust me on this one. 

There were plenty of other artist there as well but these were just the card we happened to pick up. I can't wait for the next show to happen & I also can't wait til I can get my own booth in one of them

I plan on sitting down this week & getting some business cards planned out because this morning I woke up with a photography name in mind... Relic Photography then my tag line will be "Capture the moment, you'll never get it back." I'm kinda looking to see what people think of this name or if you would like to give me an suggestion sin a comment I am more then willing to consider them! After I settle on all of that I will be getting a websit together through my good friend Style Geek. Expect more pictures sometime this week & by tomorrow I plan on having my first forgiveness letter us. 

~Cyran J. Harrington~

P.s. Here are the other photos we took while at the event that are not of the artist listed but of the artist doing live art to show off their talents to the world. Along with some goffy things of Girlfriend & I. 

 Every event ArtLoveMagic has a place with a bunch of paper on it with art supplies so that you can express yourself!

 Sadly we didn't get this artist name but we loved the colors in his work & the style. He/They also did the head on a plater thing above this pic. (Left is Girlfriend, Right is me!)

The last 8 shots were all live artist that we took photos of but never got cards/names.

These last three shots were of live body art which is always fascinating to me. 

Head Is Held HIgh

Oh man oh man, what can I say. Things are all falling in to place right now & I'm more then happy for it to finally happen.


I started yesterday at the YMCA after school program & literally I had a dream an exact scene that happened yesterday less then 6 months ago. I remember waking up from the dream KNOWING I needed to work with kids. It's amazing how my life works it's self out this way. It was the longest Da ja vu I have ever had too. That made me feel like I was closer to my spirituality more then anything in the world. I'm on to something & I'm going to keep going with it.


On the other hand it makes me feel like I'm not making my own choices that someone (Or something) else has laid out for me, which is some what nerve wracking, but I feel no ill intention behind it so I will continue chugging along. After yesterday though I feel like my life is beginning to come together for the first time in so very very long. The kids yesterday were great, & the environmental was even better. There were a few things that the kids asked/said I had a hard time responding to but I think, for a first timer, that I handled them smoothly.


I am happy with this change, & I am proud of myself for making it happen. For the first time in Ra knows how long I am looking forward to my life's future....If you only knew how good it is to say that, to say it & believe it with all of my soul. If you only.


On top of that work load I have already had someone come to me & ask me to do their wedding pictures in 2013. The grome has also asked me to do some commercial work for the company he works with. It was very exciting & quite a challenge. I took it on with the best of my ability though & have not heard bad things back so I am assuming all was well with the photos. This boost my confidence a crazy amount & gets me wanting to pick up my camera more & more. I have also been going back & looking over my old stuff to see what I can change about which photos to build some new portfolios. It's exilerating. Here are some examples.

These are just the one's I've really touched so far.I do hope you enjoy them. Man has my vision changed since I last did all this stuff. In a good way though. I understand alot of the things I didn't before after the long break. 

On top of all that the Bride that I had mentioned from the wedding above as came to me after we talked one night & told me that I helped her find a path after a while of shearing. This. Was. An. Amazing. Feeling. Last year sometime I had decided that this was the type of person I would become. The helper, the light, the thing people could look for to get them to their next step in this arms race. 

I am succeeding in this, & I can not express to you how happy this makes me.

I have wanted to be that for so long & I could never figure out why it never happened but it is now. I'm excited, I'm enthralled, I can't wait to help the next person. I'm finally living up to my own expectations for the first time &...just...yeah. It's.... riveting is the best word I could find for it. 

On top of that I have also finished the first row out of three in my Runes study, which is great & I'm really starting to get the hang of it all. The only part that I'm having a hard time with is connecting them all together once they are pulled & in front of me. Girlfriend is better at that so we are going to sit down one day (soon I hope) to help each other out. I will be teaching her the Rune's & then she will be teaching me how to work the puzzle of them. Good bonding time for us too. 

Last but not least Charming of the Plow was this past Sunday & I can see us as a group advancing which is something else that excites me to no end. We are a family unit & you can really see it all happening. We are all growing together & even though we get mad at one another from time to time, over all you can see the love. 

I can not express how great it is to finally have a family in my life. I stable one that WON'T turn it's back on me in times of anything. Even if I am being the stupidest person alive. The have helped me more then they probably know, don't want them getting a bit head after all haha, & I'm not sure where I would be right now without their help. 

Man am I happy right now. Lots of stuff to be happy about too. Lots & lots & lots. 

So the last thing on my list is saying that I have no free weekends this month. Between new job trainings, dates, & my 21 BIRTHDAY PARTY. YEAH! Then there is moving. But it's all good positive things to be doing on my weekends. 

I can't wait to see what the future holds. For the first time in a very long time I'm not scared of tomorrow. 

I am liberated after 21 years.

~Cyran J. Harrington~ 

Multiplicity Challenge

So I'm not sure how many of you actually know this about me but this is the reason my blog in mane what it is. Have fun. 

1. How do you communicate? (Do you ever hear each other’s voices? Do you ever talk to/with each other out loud? Do you ever leave notes for one another? Do you ever communicate without words (using images/feelings/colors/etc.)?) 

We actually do a bit of all of this to be honest, & it depends on the situation. Alot of the time now-a-days it’s by words that I hear them say. 

2. How do you find new members? (Do you find other members mostly through journaling? Or can you see and hear them?)

For the most part if just hear them, or feel them. Then their name just kind of pops comes to me.

3. How do you choose who wears what? Do you argue over clothing styles?

Oh god, all the time. The girls always have something to complain about (Mostly Emma @.@) & seeing how Kradonous wears Egyptian robe type things he finds them quite constricting. 

 4. How are decisions made in the front (consensus/majority rules/one person makes them/other)? 

It always has been, & always will be, whatever is best for the host. (Me, Cyran/Yuki) Because I am out the most so I will have to deal with the repercussions.

 5. Is knowledge shared equally or do some people have access to things that other people don’t? 

To the main on’s that front knowledge is shared but to those who aren’t out as much usually don’t know as much. It really depends. 

6. Can you remember things that other people in your group do? Are you aware of what happens in the front when you’re not there?

Yes, I don’t like not knowing what is going on with MY body so I know everything that is going on at all times (even if I trust them whole haretedly. ) it’s just not something I am comfortable with. 

 7. Do you remember dreams? Are they your own? Do you share each other’s dreams? 

I think there was one time that Krade, or Kradonous went to sleep in the body & I saw their dream but it doesn’t happen often, or at all really. They do tend to share my dreams though. 

 8. Do you all take responsibility when you wrong somebody as a group effort, more collective apology or do you expect the person who did the wrong to fess up? 

Do you mean to each other or to the outsiders? 

Either way, we all take responsibility for our own actions. 

9. Is there one in your group that stays in the body for more time than the rest? (How often do your primary front-runners change? How often do frontiers switch out? Is fronting a skill that has to be taught?)

The host stays out the most as it’s the host’s life & they are the main fronter. The rest come out at night (as that’s when the host is doing the least.) When they are asked for by someone, or if they want to enjoy something briefly (A cig, a song, or a movie maybe.) If the host can’t handle something they will come out too but that doesn’t happen as often as it used to. For the most part they just give advice if needed or asked for. Or witty comments. Depending on what is wanted/needed at the time. 

10. How do you parcel out time during waking hours between work, school, hobbies, and social commitments? Is it left up to whoever is in the front or do you plan it out? How do you balance money/space usage?

Space in a living space? The money that we make is all Cyran/Yuki’s so he decided how everyone uses it but he uses it mostly for what he needs/wants. We don’t plan anything in advance. It just happens when wanted needed. But host take first priority, & makes all the calls unless they are unable to do that at the time. 

11. Are there noticeable differences with who fronts? How can an outsider recognize a switch? How would I know whom in your group I’m speaking to? Do you announce yourselves? What’s the most polite way to ask who I’m talking to? What if I want to talk to (name) but (name) is out?

Yes, there is. For Kradonous it’s his accent or the way he speaks, he also is a king so his speech is MUCH different then anyone else. Krade has a deeper voice & (as of right now) is blind so he typically has his eyes closed, he also tends to be really cras but has a HUGE heart. For Emma, the voice goes up to a much more girly tone, she is super rude, holds nothing back & if she doesn’t like you god forbid because she won’t hold back. For Carolina (We call her Cali) she holds herself very up right, the voice go very soft & she is more of a mother then anyone will ever be. Those are the easiest to notice & the one’s that come out when in an emergency anymore. The rest you just kinda learn as you go.

If you want to talk to someone then just ask whoever is out to find them, or call for them if they aren’t their. If, for some reason, they can’t get to you we will pass a message to them & as soon as they can get to you they will. 

12. Ever have someone stuck at the front? What makes you get stuck here or home?

This happened a long time ago but it’s not longer an issue so I don’t have a good answer.

13. How do people compensate for not having their bodies out front (ex. not matching the body’s gender or appearance)? How does the physical body impact upon the consciousness? Particularly in cases where the gender or even species are different, does it have some profound effects on the way you’d interact with or view the world?

It honestly depends on who’s out at that time. Most of the guys just get over it & consider it an “adventure” (unless the body is doing that once a month thing) the girls just complain about how much they hate they body not being more…”girly.” Most everyone copes nicely with everything though.

14. What age range do you have in your system? Do younger or older front runners have a hard time not being in an age appropriate body? Do you have children/minors in your system? What, if any, restrictions do you place on their behavior, in-system and publicly?

The age range is crazy. I think our youngest (Right now) is 3? & the oldest is centuries old. Again, everyone copes pretty well. The parents control the kids in-system & the younger one’s just don’t come out in public to make thing easy for everyone. Doesn’t seem wise to let a 3 year old out to do whatever in a 21 year old’s body, no? Haha.

15. If you could call what you are something other than MPD/DID, natural Plural or Multiple what other term might you use? Or do you like one of the existing ones? Do you call yourselves a system?

We use Medium personally, but when we are not around people who believe in such things we say Multiple. Different people need different terms. We consider ourselves a system to a sense as everyone is in it for the same goal.  

16. How do you all decide how much of yourselves is public? Do you tell everyone that you’re multiple? Are you more comfortable around other multiples than around singlets?

We decide weather they are going to be someone who is going to be close to us or not & if they aren’t then we never mention it, but if we decide we want the to stay we let them know what’s up. If they stay, that’s great, if they go then it’s all good too. Everyone has their opinion & a right to it. We are comfortable around everyone, as long as they are willing to understand us.

17. How do you keep track of who is in your system?

We used to try & keep a list but now we just let who ever wants to be known known & who ever doesn’t fade away. The main one’s are turely the only one’s that matter for everyone sanity/protection.

19. When did you all realize you were a group? Have there always been several people in your body since birth?

We REALIZED it when the body was 16 but we have tracked it back to when the body was 5 or so. We think it’s been this way from birth honestly.

20. Did something “cause” your multiplicity? Do you believe in the medical model at all, for yourself or others?

We don’t see each other as “personalities.” The host sees everyone as spirits that “come to stay.” (Goes back to being a Medium.) I can’t talk for others but I do believe everyone is different. 

21. Tell me about your ideas on integration and separateness. How does it affect your worldview?

We can’t actually give you an answer to this at the moment. 

22. Does anyone in your household/group lose time?

No.

23. Does your system as a whole deal with other kinds of neuroatypicality? Do individuals? 

Yes, but that is not something we want to talk about. 

24. How are your memories stored (each person has her or his own/different people store different types/some are personal and some are shared by everyone/other/combination)? Who has access to memories (only the person there/only certain people/anyone they affected/need to know basis)?

We all a have a collective memory but when they are doing things that do not involve the body or the host then the others keep up with it on their own. 

25. Is anyone’s identity tied to the body? How do people whose self-identification does not match the body deal with it? Does anyone in your group use the body’s birth certificate name? 

The host is tied to the body but we can’t say it’s the same host the started with the body. there is a basis there but so much has changed since birth. The host only uses the birth certificate name for ligeal things but besides that they go by Cyran/Yuki. So does everyone else unless it’s not needed.

26. Do you have a group name? How did you get it?

Not yet, but we are thinking about one. We just have to come up with one first or if someone has any suggestions then we are more then willing to hear them.

27. How are relationships handled in your group? Do you have in-system relationships? Out-of-system relationships? Is the body functionally asexual, monogamous, polyamorous or something else?

As said before, the host relationship is the most important one of all. If someone from the system wants time with their other they ask & if there is time it’s given. It there isn’t then something is arranged for later or they go where ever to see them. The host likes open relationships to make it easier on everyone (Including them) but even in a monogamous relationship they would talk to their other & explain that they are not willing to close that of to anyone who wants body time for personal reasons.

  

28. Do you celebrate any birthdays? The body’s? Individuals?

The birth day of the body (Of course!) Then a few others. Kradonous’ is Feb 14th, & Krade is December 22. Sebastian’s is September…16th I believe & everyone else just kinda gets ignored. 

29. Any advice for someone who is trying to figure out if they’re multiple, or for a new multiple just getting to know their system?

If you have any question fill free to ask someone who has been multiple longer then you. They most likely can help more then anyone else & will be more then willing to. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone. Also, make sure you get control of them before they get control of you. People will be able to tell & it will tear you apart in my experience. 

If you want to chat just let me know. 

AIM: Kradalicious

Skype: Kradalicious 

Ask me something here , or anyone else. 

Or E-mail me Cyranjharrington@yahoo.com

I am always up for answering questions, & so is anyone else here. 

The Words Of An Actor: "They Always Arrive Over Done"

I know it's not like me to post twice in  matter of days but this one thing, this one particular thing that happened last night has got me caught up in all sorts of feels that I am curious to share with others & get feed back from. If I don't get feed back though, at least it will be out of my system. 

Last night I did something stupid, I went to see if my girlfriend's ex had posted anything about us going to the art caution this Friday night for the Vagina Monologs, as predictable as ever, they had. So I read just to see what to expect when going because I hate drama & go out of my way to avoid it, so if I could get any pretenses of what to be ready for then there would be a way to avoid the drama. 

I now know that the WHOLE cast & crew of the V-Monologs dislike me/hate me without getting my side of the story, have most likely threatened me behind my back without knowing me, think that I am trash, & think that I am an abuser to/of people. Oh, & that we are coming to ruin the show for them.

1) We are going to go & donate art to support the cause of abused women everywhere so that the violence will stop. Us going has nothing to do with us wanting to ruin anything at all, we just want to help others that can't be helped like we have been helped before. How does that come back to us wanting to start drama or steal the show? 

2) If you really only want to hear it from one side of the story then that's fine, but please understand that there is always two sides to everything. I also understand that I have never tried to hear that person's side of the story either but from what happened last time I am not willing to put myself in any potions again for them to get near me in anyway. It's not worth the risk, since I have decided this then I can understand why other's would do this to me as well. 

3) The time that they were close to me I can understand why it would come off this way. I had alot of emotional things wrong with me along with alot of personal things & I'm not going to sit here & say I was right but once looking at everything now I see why I did most of what I did. I still think trash is a bit harsh for someone you only know through stories, but to each their own. 

4) I am guilty of ranting about them to my group of main support but none of them have EVER threatened them no matter how much I was hurting or said things. HELL they have gotten onto me because of things I would say. It once again shows me the kind of company one keeps really shows who they are. Or however that quote works. 

5) This is the one that bothers me the most. That they all think I am an abuser of some sort, & how it was referenced in the sentence I feel that it is safe to assume that it I was an abuser of women/peoples. This is what upset me the most. I find that this per judgement is harsh & false after being emotionally abused by my mother for so long. I have gone over everything that I have remembered & tried to figure out how this person could come to this conclusion as well as spread it all around. Perhaps I am missing something but I just can't. I say truthful harsh things because I am a blunt person & honestly is my policy. I have also worked very hard to break the cycle of abuse that my mother pushed onto me & have done a damn good job of it if I do say so myself. If anything I find it to be abusive to go around telling people I abuse people.

I would honestly like to know though, how I have abused them. How running out on two dear friends to rescues them was being abusive? How was it abusive to them when they had a large fight with their girlfriend at the time & texted me for help starting with "I know I have no right to ask this of you..." so I left my event to help. How was that abusive? Or staying on the phone with them all night to try & work out our problems? How? I just don't see it. I don't understand it. 

They tagged team me at one point with my girlfriend of the time instead of just trying to work things out with me one on one. I would have listened. Instead they went out of their way to make it that I couldn't fight back, or FELT like I couldn't fight back due to my emotional state at the time, & as soon as I wasn't willing to worship the ground they walked on they dropped my ass while taking something very dear to me & holding it for 3 years taunting me with it when the chance arose. 

But after all that I have not ONCE called them an abuser. Because I would hope that since they are running a show about NOT ABUSING PEOPLE their was another reason for all of this. Low selfestem of their own & what not. I gave the benefit of the doubt once more when I should really just...not. 

Even after this that forgiveness letter will be coming within the next month or so because thoughts of trying to talk to this person to understand what happened more have flown out the window. I was going back & forth  trying to figure out if it would be worth it even for them to go back & look like...whatever to the people they talk to most. After this though, I just can't bother to care anymore. Corrections, I WON'T put myself in this position because of this. It would just add fuel to a fire that is burning quite well all on it's own. 

Now I have one more positive thing to look at myself with. The people I keep around me. 

I couldn't be happier for them.

~Cyran J. Harrington~